Dressmakers

Last day of 2011.

2011-12-31T17:24:00.001+08:00

It's the last day of 2011!

Finally im blogging.

Okay so following the events of my previous post, there have been alot of happenings.

The most important and prominent day of this month would of course be Christmas.

I would say it was an unexpected Xmas eve/ Xmas. But nonetheless, i had a lovely time.

Xmas eve was spent with Ly, Reb, Joshua, Arron, Ian, WeeChuan, SoonLai, Clement, Melvin & Xinghan.

Totally unexpected. Laughs. But they're an awesome gang so im grateful to them for letting me join their Xmas!

Xmas itself was spent with my D.

Went to Cityhall and took lots of pictures. Even though it was simple, it was still awesome.

The simplest things are often the best things as they say. Oh yea and he got me a beanie!

Totally a Xmas gift i would say. Will definitely wear it. ((:

Also, had Xmas exchanges with my girls Nu, Jose & Bren, as well as with Zee, Ruby & Zoe.

Awesome time spent with both of my groups of girls and appreciate and love the gifts lots!

Today would be the 93th day since D confessed to me.

Also today is the last day of 2011.

Time simply passes too fast. It doesnt even stop to let us catch our breaths.

"To be more optimistic, become stronger & more independent,

and lastly i hope to pay off all my debts !

But most importantly "i wanna be the girl who didnt give a heck about guys, when her friends & freedom was everything she needs .""

That was my resolutions for this 2011! And im ashamed to say i didnt complete all of them. Laughs.

Alot of things have happened this year. From good things, to bad things, and to worse things.

Hearts have been broken, hearts have been healed etc.

New friendships have formed, old friends have come together again.

New relationships have begun, old relationships have been remembered.

It's maddening to see time pass by so darn fast.

And here i am, always wishing that some day, time stops for all us during our most happiest moments.

We've all grown, we've all aged, we've all created memories.

It's amazing to see how time changes all of us.

I know i've tried to stop changing and that is totally unacceptable.

Plus obviously it cant be prevented. Laughs.

So for the new year, my new resolutions would be to accept change, to embrace it, to be more optimistic, to be more understanding of others, to accept myself more, to make a difference. I really wanna be happy. And i got a feeling i will be. 2012's gonna be awesome right?!

December Baby

2011-12-11T04:39:00.001+08:00

Its December Baby.

Got sick come December 1st.

Means i got sick the week before MST.

What a nice timing, not.

High fever and was pretty sure i lied in bed 90% of the time.

Gotta thank D for taking care of me.

Even though he kinda annoyed me at the start but yea he's learning.

He'll get better taking care of me.

(Y) Laughs.

MST's are over!

Guess Barry kinda motivated me to study this time round.

Otherwise i'll end up mugging till the very last minute.

I would say im proud of myself.

And i know i'll definitely need not worry about my results.

At least for 2 of my papers.

Holidays are here.

Started off badly. Hope it ends great though.

Have been in and out of my moods since yesterday.

Bad bad bad bad bad. Sigh.

Dislike it when im feeling/behaving like this.

Screw my moods man. Serious max.

Was kinda disappointed with some stuff.

Shant continue further on it.

Aint gonna dwell on it. I'll be fine anyways.

Christmas is approaching.

Cant wait for it.

Christmas really is an amazing holiday.

Spending christmas with my girls LY & Reb (counting down from eve that is).

Initially thought i'll be counting down christmas with D.

Guess not.

Saw his friend's text. It was by accident though.

Didnt want him to reject his friends.

So i changed our plans instead.

Think he'll have more fun with his friends instead yea.

Pretended that i didnt know anything of course.

Dont wanna make him feel bad.

But cant say im feeling good too.

Laughs. The ironic stuff that i always do.

P.S. Im sorry that i put pressure on you.

Was just too used to having J telling me things all the time.

We'll compromise and learn together yea. ((:

I just wanna be happy. Why is it so difficult?

Awesome November ((:

2011-11-28T04:37:00.001+08:00

November's coming to an end. Im gonna wrap up the month of november with a post since its so awesome! Many events occurred in Nov. Basically, most of my girls' (as well as barry's) birthdays fall on this month. And hell my expenses skyrocketed like !@#$%^&;* ! I must've spent like a few hundreds this month! Plus i've been going out alot lately too. Keep hanging out with my girls as well as D. But it was worth it. Awesome max. Okay this is gonna be a uber long post.

Lets start with 11.11.11. Thought that day was gonna end badly. Since it kinda started off like bullcrap. But thankfully it ended great. Well, it ended when i was in the midst of a movie actually. But it was awesome still. "Warriors" was fantastic! Love it max! Luckily D wanted to catch it. Otherwise might'd pass on a great movie. Spend the evening till night at vivo. Wont deny that memories rocked me up when i passed by serenity. Cant help it man.

Oh yea. 10.11.11. Ikea-d with my lovelies Nu, B and Jo. Met up to celebrate Nu's 19th bash. Another awesome catch-up. But seeing how Nu and B are so focused on where they are right now, how they both know what they want in future, and how they're like studying and being so busy and all in their respective uni-s just made me kinda envious. Right till now, i still have no clue what i wanna do in future. I really hope i can further my studies for the time being. Thats my goal so far. Praying hard it'll happen.

22.11.11. Its our 1st month. Happy 1st Monthsary Babey D! Time really pass too fast! Even though no gifts were exchanged and basically, the whole day wasnt spent with you, at least we got to see each other at night and the night before too. Awesome nonetheless. Blamed myself for forgetting the previous week and put schedule to work on this day. But still met up with you after work at 11plus. Gave you a letter and glad to see you love it. ((:

26.11.11. Its your birthday D! Youre finally 19! Omg. I feel so old saying that! Slept over at your place cause we wanted to wake up early to get brunch. But failed to do so! Ended waking up in the afternoon and went over to the rail mall super late to have our lunch. Like 4plus late! Ate at this cafe called crefele cafe or something. Whatever. Laughs. Awesome beef burger and cammomile tea i had. Then you have to head off to have dinner with your fam. Afterwards, we met up again for icecream at island creammery. After icecream, we went searching for 24-hour coldstorage just cause i wanted my bacon bits. Laughs. And it was our first time grocery-shopping. Funny like shyt. Bought junkfood as expected then headed back. Damn awesome! Laughs. Oh yea. Bought you a burberry touch fragrance set with the shampoo. Hope you love it. Also baked muffins for you. Appreciate it much that you attempted to finish all of it despite it being infested with ants before i gave you (I cleared the ants of course). Youre too nice! Hope you love it too though!! ((:

All in all, D kinda made November better with his awesome-ness. Laughs. Glad to have him by my side. Really needa thank him for his understanding and all. He made me smile and laugh too many a time. Thank kew D super much!! And for tolerating my horrid moods!

P.S. Sorry I read your blog, J. Cant help it. I still do wanna know how youre doing and all. Didnt mean to flare at ya. Im glad you have Bel with you now. At least there's someone who can listen to you. Take care lots yea. I didnt answer you cause i couldnt say yes. Couldnt give you false hopes. Not cause i hate you.

11.11.11

2011-11-11T04:46:00.001+08:00

Today's 11.11.11.

They say its like super special. Maybe it is.

But i feel that its just another day.

Cant sleep. So im blogging right now.

Its just one of those nights whereby im feeling moody again.

Twitter, tumblr, and facebook has been spamming on this day.

Everyone's like "Let me make a wish."

If i would make a wish, all i sincerely wish is to be happy.

And to forever be smiling. Even after i die i wanna be happy too!

Tsk. All these negativity from me again.

Anyways, i'll go with the flow.

I of course wish i won't spend this day in vain.

It started badly for me. Kinda teared just now.

Aint sure why recently very easily affected by my surroundings.

Damn max. Laughs.

But 11.11.11 just started badly for me.

I really dont wanna spend today like bullcrap-ly man.

Even if its by myself, i wanna be doing things that i love or enjoy.

So needing icecream right now.

Painted my nails just now. Looks like SHYT.

Whatever. I love my masterpiece still. Laughs.

Sincerely crossing fingers that 11.11.11 wont end badly pretty please.

Argh. I just wanna see you.

Please kiss my moods away. Put a smile on me will you.

It's November Already

2011-11-06T18:06:00.002+08:00

November.

How fast time passes. Before i know it, it's already near the end of the year. It seems only like yesterday when i was wondering how im gonna spend the new year 2011. It was only a while back when i was thinking how stagnant my life was and how i crave excitement. Now, i've got my wish. Won't ever sprout such nonsense ever again! Damn. I won't say i aint happy right now. Cause i am, with D. But guilt's eating me alive at the same moment. Nightmares every night have made me afraid to fall asleep. Every day i'll wake up with my head throbbing. It just sucks. Sigh. If only things could be easier. Doctors should invent this "Letting Go"-pill totally. Whereby you pop one into your mouth, then within hours, your feelings of reluctant-ness, your feelings of sadness, unhappiness and whatever, would all be washed away. What can i say, only "Im sorry J."

November.

School term has come into its mid. Work load has been piling up. MSTs are just around the corner. FYP has just started for me. Damn. But procrastination is still on-going. Tsk. This bad habit has gotta stop! *Cross fingers* Imma work harder this semester. I will promise myself that for sure.

November.

A month of too many birthdays. All my lovelies having their birthdays altogether this month. Why why why?! Made me so darn broke every year at this time! I neeeeed like money pouring from the sky! Right now!! TSK! Laughs.

November.

Please be good to me. You're one of my favorite month. So be awesome will you!

Still October

2011-10-19T02:59:00.000+08:00

Its the 18th day of October. Time passes so fast. Before I know it, school has started. The second day of school has passed and so far so good. It started off well and ho-hum-ly. Has reached school in time for these two days. Im determined to change my tardiness! Hopefully its not for the first few days only! Crossing fingers! Class wise, aint have any class with 24 at all this sem. So am kinda sad cause couldnt be in the same class as my friends anymore. But oh wells, no one to blame but me. But thankfully share my core classes with Mich & Zo. Still have company! Plus im having classes with Kj, Arron & Ian too. Awesome!

Hmm. Decisions decisions decisions. Am not myself lately. Aint sure what im doing either. Im greedy and selfish. I know myself best. I just wanna protect myself. Simple as that. Wait, no. I just wanna be happy. Why cant happiness be easy? Why is smiling seemed to be the hardest thing to do so right now? Keep smiling Cecilia.

October

2011-10-06T04:53:00.002+08:00

October.

So it's kinda late to post about the start of October but I DONT CARE.

September has been hell lot of happenings.

Some good, some bad.

Hopefully October would be good to me.

I have always liked October. So let it be good please!

School's starting in Oct too.

I really hope October would be kind to me.

Have been feeling slightly moody since the start of Oct.

May it just be the starting phase and would pass over soon! *Prays*

May October be an awesome month.

Family

2011-10-06T04:34:00.002+08:00

Family.

The dictionary tells me that it's "a group of individuals related by blood, marriage, or adoption". But what does it mean to you?

Today, my sister and I went home together. And as usual, we talked. She told me I was fortunate to have my mom. I wanted to tell her, she's yours too. But I didn't. She told me, people often ask her, "You seem to dote on your sister quite much." And every a time, she will always answer "That's cause I only have one sister." That touched me.

My family ain't what you called a perfect family, nor is it a broken or dysfunctional one. It's just sorta complicated. My sister's a half-sister. Her parents, which is my dad and her mom, divorced. Then my dad married my mom and came me and my brother. My sister's mom then migrated to France and had 3 boys. My parents ain't what you called a loving old couple. They no longer share the same bed together and of course, don't have sex anymore. I'm guessing they're still together cause of us kids.

I won't exactly say I'm close with my family. But I'm not exactly very distant with them either. I do talk and share things with my mom and my sister. Mostly about friendships and relationships stuff. Afterall they're older and surely know these things better right? I guess I'm proud to say the girls in my fam are quite close, to a certain extend that is. I do love my brother too of course. But he's a stubborn pain in the ass most of the time. I think my brother tend to confide in me more than he does to the rest of the fam. Prolly cause our age's closest. So I could relate to him better. I'm really happy about it of course. Simply enjoy teasing and hugging him all the time. But he's too bony. Ain't nice to hug at all. Tsk.

So exactly what does family mean to me? I guess I could say that they mean the world to me. Cliche, but true. And even though my fam ain't exactly the most perfect family in the world. They still mean the world to me. Even though I'm not a home-person or a family-person, family's still first. I just hope my fam knows that. Laughs. One day, I hope we'll be the closest family ever. Whereby secrets could be shared. Whereby problems could be shared. And love could be felt. One day .. ((:

Hurt

2011-09-29T12:27:00.004+08:00

A confession was made to me, just hours ago. Not an "I-lied-to-you-before-and-Im-telling-you-the-truth-now" confession of course. A sorta love confession? You know, I really really REALLY suck bad at handling this sort of things! Especially letting one down. Worse still, I don't even know what to feel. So freaking confused right now. On one hand I wanna let the other party down in the least hurtful way, yet on the other hand, Im afraid of rejecting cause I seriously don't wanna stop us hanging together. How fucked up man. Honestly. *Sigh* Ruined a night's of sleep because of this matter. If only Im the typed of girl who didnt think so much of other's feelings. If I were more colder, then I wont be this frustrated. Damn. Im so afraid of hurting people, because I keep having this mentality that if I hurt other people, somehow I would get hurt tenfold back one day! It's like this karma thing man! So I really don't wanna hurt anyone. )): AHHHH! I don't even know what Im typing. Jumbled up feelings FTL. Why was I oh-so-stupid to not notice any signs! If I could see these signs, at least I could've distanced myself away from you. Then you wouldnt have the courage to confess. And I wont be feeling like shyt now.

On My Mind

2011-09-26T22:06:00.002+08:00

Has anyone ever came to a phase whereby you have no clue of whats your next move. And at every single moment, you don't know what you're thinking, or feeling; cause your feelings are just so jumbled up. It's like you wished something could be done, and you want to do something. Yet, you have no idea what to do, or where to start. And when you finally decided to make the first move, you're afraid of making the wrong move again. Then, you'll think twice, and you're back to square one. It's a shitty feeling, when you don't know what you're feeling. Or when there are too many feelings altogether inside you. Does this happen to most of the people? Or is it just me?

There's this issue that's been on my mind recently. Yet I can't do no nothing about it. I wished I had the initiative, but I'm afraid at the same time. Afraid that I'll get hurt again perhaps, if I made the wrong choice. I wish someone could tell me what to do, what to feel, what to stop doing, and how to protect myself. I'm getting more and more timid as life keeps giving me obstacles. This sucks. Ain't I supposed to grow stronger?

P.S. I wished you could read my mind. How cool would that be.

I Always

2011-09-23T16:24:00.005+08:00

I always

create scenarios in my head, that will never ever happen. I will always start to imagine a scene, and the scene just flows like a film. Then my mind just wanders. I don't even try very hard to create these scenarios. It just happens. I think of the most absurd situations, then just plan out in my mind just like that. It's just crazy. Sometimes, I even convince myself that it could happen. That's just funny. Laughs. If people could read my mind, I think they would surely laugh their heads off. I think I'm just crazy at times. But it'll be so cool if these things really did happen. I wonder if anyone's like me too ?

A 2011 Summer/Holiday

2011-09-23T14:28:00.002+08:00

What a holiday! Awesome-est holiday i think i've ever had since the start of poly!

Though hols have not come to an end, it's no doubt the highlight of it is the BKK trip!

Totally miss my ladies! Went for a shopping spree in Bangkok.

Trip was for 5d4n. Its my first going overseas with friends and totally didnt expect it to be this awesome.

Went with Shihui Danhui Weixi & Leemin. ((:

Bangkok was definitely so much better than i expected.

Lucky im not vey big size so many of the clothes were able to fit me!

Awesome shyt! Means that i could buy ALOT of awesome clothings! Laughs.

Was glad that no conflicts occurred during the trip. All peace man. (Y)

Am reluctant to return to Singapore. But money was all spent.

Gonna miss having to wake up to Shihui in front of the dresser dolling up and being able to walk to Danhui Weixi and Leemin's room all the time and disturb them!

Camwhored ALOT with Shihui during the trip so the album's like 80% filled with only us?!

LAUGHS.

Plus a BIG THANK YOU to Darren for "seeing me off" and for fetching me man!

Owe him super lots of favors. Damn! Him and his lil red car!

Overall this trip was AWESOME SHYT. ((:

Okay so havent been regular in updating since im always SO uber lazy.

Well worked in the ITfair again at the start of hols.

Couldnt say it went well but made new and awesome friends. So it wasnt that bad. ((:

Worked under Marriott Hotel for the mooncake festival as well.

Was quite fun to work with Su. A first for me to be able to be so open with a lesbian.

Kinda cool. She also knew a bit of palm reading and read my palm for me.

But after i heard what she read, like have phobia to get into r/s or get married man! Damn!

So yea, kinda had a packed hol since the start of it. Now its time for me to chill and relax only. Laughs.

Hope the remaining of my hols would be awesome max too!

P.S. Mtv's playing California King Bed by Rihanna right now. Awesome song! ((:

Update on Life

2011-08-22T02:45:00.015+08:00

Havent blogged for uber long. Its august now and currently having my final examinations for the semester. I would really love to say its been a lovely few months since i last blogged but sadly, it aint the case.

Currently aint sure what my future plans are, nor do i have any clue on where to start. Seriously dont know what im gonna do after i graduate. But of course working is definite. I honestly hope that i wont get stuck in a small job post and have to like work all my life there. I really hope i get somewhere in life man. This life pathway thing really gets me. I really curse myself for not choosing a design course since i've always been an arts person. I love designing i guess. Sigh. Life's hard.

Am still single right now. And yea, i surprised myself either. Havent ever been single for so long. Being single was never my thing. Laughs. Yea but for once, i feel really awesome being single. For once, i do not have to worry about how to be the perfect girlfriend and how can i make my guy stay faithful and etc. I feel oh-so-relax! I can date, i can talk to guys, i can tell people im free man! Guess people do change.

Change is inevitable afterall. I always thought im the kind of girl who can die without a beau. But guess not.

Its May

2011-05-04T05:04:00.008+08:00

Its finally May. May love and success be in this month.

Its funny how some people think my life seems to revolve around boys. Laughs. I cant be blame if guys wanna talk to me yea? But somehow, i really wished they would leave me alone. All of them.

Do you believe in pure platonic friendship between a guy and a girl? I know i dont. Yea, right now, maybe there may be friendships formed between a guy and a girl. But i believe that a guy and a girl arent able to form close friendships with one another. That is cause, there will always be sexual attraction getting in the way. Be it from the guy or from the girl, one way or another. At the end of the day, if a guy and girl are "best friends", someone is definitely in love with the other, or it could be both ways. If only sexual attraction wont get in the way. Then friendships wont be ruined. If only there's a switch button whereby we could decide when to turn the sexual attraction meter on or off.

Lately?

2011-04-20T03:54:00.010+08:00

Its been way way waaaay long since i've last blogged. So many darn things have happened since Feb. First of all, my year end examinations, then comes my birthday, then ITP, then results, then end of ITP, then start of school - which is right now where i am. Where to begin. Everything is just so overwhelming.

Was kinda boring for march since nothing exciting nor interesting happened. Basically, its just work work and more work. I had my attachment at the airport at Nuance-Watson so practically, everyday's routine was just work and home. B-O-R-I-N-G. Heh.

Well, life's been kinda stagnant for me. No ups and downs for anything lately. I CRAVE FOR EXCITEMENT IN MY LIFE RIGHT NOW! Laughs. Its kinda a good thing for me. With what i've been going through for the past six months. Having been struggling with my emotions and feelings. This stagnant life is feeling for me. Well, at least i've been busy meeting my friends. Absolutely love them ttm! Love how we never fail to laugh our heads off when we hang. Awesome feeling. Sure would be fabulous if we could stay friends forever. It's just amazing how even though im not meeting them as much now due to being in different schools and courses etc, but somehow when all of us meet up once in a blue moon, the connection is still there. Its like, there will never be an awkwardness between us. And i love how amazing and comfortable we feel around each other. Will always love my girls! Im refering to Shuqi Yy Rosh and Ruonan btw. Heh.

Speaking of excitement, okay so come to the start of april, i met this reeeeally cute guy. Not exactly met but i sort of noticed him at work. Laughs. There i go again, being this hua chi girl. *Knocks the head.* But he doesnt seemed the relationship kind of guy so oh well. Too bad. Heh. Right now, i just wanna enjoy being single. For now, i just wanna focus on pampering myself first. Im gonna be oh-so-fine.

Oh did i mention i bought 200plus worth of makeup from MAC and Bobbi Brown? Laughs. I couldnt resist buying so much cause they were so darn cheap cause of the tax free prices PLUS the 25 percent staff discount! *Screams!* Thats the only thing im gonna miss from working at the airport. THE PRICES. Laughs.

Its February .

2011-02-17T14:54:00.004+08:00

Events after events for the month of feb . First there was CNY , then there's taylor's concert , followed by Valentine's and finally , the arrival of the dreaded exams . Cny was not bad this year , not bad at all . Collected quite alot but unfortunately , i'll have to say all those money didnt belong to me . ): Then there's taylor's concert . It was really awesome ! She's freaklishly tall ! 179 to be exact . She's really quite cool . Love her even more after the concert . She sings not bad indeed .

Next its Valentine's . Well , i had an unexpected valentine's day . Plus an unexpected valentine's gift . From an expected someone . Spent valentine's day with J and his polyfriends AND their dates (which are their respective bfs & gf) . We had steamboat and initially , i didnt wanna go when J asked me but im glad i did . I had a nice time with them . They're all really nice people . But they thought i was "dao" . Which i wasnt in fact , that was probably my way of being shy . Laughs . A really unexpected gift from J too . He surprised me with a citigems necklace . 128 dollars . Since knowing him , its the first time he bought such an expensive gift to me . Well , it was quite expensive for him . I didnt get him anything of course since i didnt expected a gift . Well , i could tell he was a teeny disappointed with me going empty handed but you cant blame me . When we're together , it was always me with the gifts and never him . So it was totally shocking of him to give me anything . Anyways im real happy to receive it . I promise i'll get him something in return .

Now exams are around the corner . In fact , tomorrow's my first paper . DAMN ! And i havent start studying . Cries ! Anyways good luck to myself and to everyone who's hating the exams ! Its gonna be over sooon ! Then its time for my birthday . Heh .

P.S : I hate how i always falls for the guys who will never love me back . It's really hurting . How i wish i didnt know how to love .

I Will ;

2011-02-02T14:52:00.005+08:00

I miss you .

I WILL FALL FOR A BOY WHO WILL ;

* Stand out in the rain with me .

* Cook with , or for me .

* Let me sing along to the radio .

* Keep surprising me .

* Watch movies with me on lazy days .

* Remember the little things .

* Help me face my fears .

* Start play-fights with me -

with water , or food , or pillows , or anything .

* Write me post-it love letters .

* Always say what's on his mind .

* Let me wear his clothes .

* Shut me up with kisses .

* Call me things like darling , not babe .

* Hug me and say , "No , you're not ," when i say i'm fine .

* Treat me , sometimes , like a child .

* Treat me , sometimes , as an adult .

* Love me back .

P.S. I'm not amazing at anything , i'm just okay at everything .

It frustrates me more than anything .

"Old" Days

2011-01-27T13:25:00.004+08:00

Okay i reelly reelly REElly miss the "old" days . Nostalgia's like overwhealming me right now .

Especially after chatting with WH these few days, i found that i really had many awesome and wonderful memories ! If i could give up everything and return to the past, i really would do so again . And most importantly, i wouldnt have wanted anything to change . I wanna relive these awesome days again ! I thought getting in to bbss would be a wrong decision but now, i know that its the best decision to be made ! I think i have the best schoolmates in the whole wide world man ! Laughs . Be it teary, laughing or angry moments, they were all wonderful . Every little detail of them . Ahhh ! I miss bbss !

Falling Hard .

2011-01-16T03:58:00.004+08:00

Mood : Super fcuked up .

*Pardon my language*

Shouldnt even care . Damn . What was i to say ? What do you expect me to say ? What am i supposed to do ? Seriously . Am i supposed to feel happy ? Happy that you're telling me that you don't feel a thing when hugging her ? Laughs . You said you miss me , yea , so what . But you're with her right now . And so you said you wanna hug me . Yea , so what again ? But you're hugging her right now . And you said but i want you more . Laughs laughs laughs . Seriously how ironic can one get . Kay im super pissed off right now . Just wanna rant thats all .

You said "Sorry" . You told me you knew i were upset . And i told you "No im not" . I really wonder if you believed that . Or just pretended to . Honestly , i hate how everything you do affects me right now . It used to not mattered . But it does now . Damn . Seriously , DAMN . And almost , just almost , when you walked away , did my tears fell . But i managed to hold it in . It just aint worth it . I know i aint nothing compared to her . She's perfect ; im not .

Its funny how i always tend to fall for guys that i know will hurt me . Is this karma ? Laughs . Its not like im super ugly and lousy that no guys want me . Yet i always end up choosing the road where i know im sure to fall badly .

I wanna see you so bad .

Wed and Counting .

2011-01-14T04:47:00.004+08:00

Love & Other Drugs
Caught this movie ytd, or should i say the day before with LY&R . Fab love Anne Hathaway ! She is so freaking gorgeous ! And her tits are simply nice ! Im not being pervertic here . Believe me, you simply cant take your eyes off her fabulous body if you saw ! Was in awe though that she actually bare everything in the movie . And such intimate scenes she took with Jake Gyllenhaal ! I really wonder if he was turned on when Anne was lying naked on top of him . Laughs . (Im not a pervert !) Anyway it was a nice movie and everyone should totally watch it ! I would say 9/10 !

On the same day, wed, had a string of emotions and blah blah blah, so i decided to do a manicure to pamper myself . Tried the new arrivals and my nails are even more beautiful than me right now . No im exaggerating actually . But my nails are nice ! But why do i feel that they've already cracked ! NOO ! I just had them for like a 1 day plus ! Havent tried pedicures before . Shall get them one day ! But somehow the thought of letting strangers touching my feet and the possibility of them smelling the odour of it simply shudders me .

One more thing : I hate LY&R for not being able to put themselves in my shoes and for scolding me till im even more stressed up !

Nah i dont really hate 'em . Laughs . I wanna thank them for loving me so much instead yea ! Sorry im always making y'all worrying ! I know im always in a mess ! I will learn to be stronger yea ! Really appreciate both of 'em . Will always love 'em ! *Pinky promise and copy that !*

PS :

It's only been around 3 weeks since i've snipped my hair and im soooo missing it ! It was soooo difficult for me to grow them man ! Cries ! Look at how long it used to be ! *looks at picure above* Alright so it isnt really super duper long but it's still very long to me ! When will i ever grow them back again ?! I miss tying up my hair !

P.P.S : Less than 12 hours and counting down awayyyyyy !

The Best Things ♥

2011-01-12T06:22:00.005+08:00

I think, the best and most precious things in life are:

big warm hugs
passionate kisses
the smell of rain
daydreaming
walking through a field of wildflowers
laughing
smiles from anyone, particularly strangers
soft cushy pillows

and lastly,
being loved . (:

J & Rants

2011-01-12T05:32:00.003+08:00

Its 5.33am right now and im still not asleep .

Not 1 or 2 or 3 but ALOT of people have asked me this question "So tell me, do you still like J ?" Maybe if you've asked me a month ago, i'd have said "Maybe ?" But right now if you asked me, i'll tell you "No freaking way ." Yet again if you asked me whether i'll stay by his side if given a chance, i'll say "Yes ." Reason being : I love his family and i just feel too comfortable being with him .

I wont deny that there's a possibility that i may fall in love with him again if we got back together, but it aint EVER gonna happen . One thing's for sure, i really don't love anymore . I used to think that i still love him, cause i couldnt get over him . But now i know, its cause i couldnt get over the fact that 'HE DUMPED ME' . Admitting it now still makes me cringe . Damn ! So how am i positively confident that i dont love him anymore ?

1)I freaking DONT CARE even if he fcuks another girl right now .

2)I DONT MISS him .

3)I DONT STALK him anymore .

4)I HATE texting him .

5)I no longer wanna hug him anymore . (Most important*)

Why do every post i made in this freaking blog have to mention J at least once ?! Damn ! He must've cursed this blog . Laughs . For me, i feel that hugs & kisses are reeeeeeeally important . In fact, i think they're very crucial in order for a r/s to go on . Especially hugs . Cause i simply adore hugs ! I cannot NOT hug my bf at all ! And i only give tight hugs to people whom i really love and care for . So the fact that i no longer wanna hug J has proven that i no longer love him . Well maybe not as a lover but i still love him as a friend no doubt . Maybe it sounds ridiculous using a hug to determine my feelings but i dont care what you think . Heh . So please people, stop asking me do i still love him !

Okay this is gonna be a freaklishly long post again . Laughs . Today (or rather yesterday) wasnt a good day . I got reprimanded by wx real badly . The feeling of having your bestfriend being mad at you and telling you you're the one at fault really sucks . Especially when you know it but dont wanna admit it . Throughout the whole day of lessons, i was just starring at the board . I didnt even realise when class ended . I just felt so .. lost . It was really obvious to everyone that i was in a foul mood since i was expressionless . Those who didnt know are either idiots or they must be oblivious to my existence . Regardless, i have to apologise to La & Yann for showing them abit of an attitute . SORRY ! Tried to clear my mind by asking Jun to acc me for dinner . Told him almost everything but still, i couldnt lift up my spirits . Alas, called B and i was cheered up . But by calling him, everything that i've done became futile . Honestly, i didnt believe him . Maybe im being critical of myself but i simply couldnt believe that anyone will be willing to give up anything for me . What more a superb & perfect girlfriend . Why is it that nowadays i feel so worthless . It seems that i'll always be a substitute . First was Yq, then Sh, and now B .

Drats, im being negative again . Cries . Im soooo gonna pamper myself later ! Gonna watch a movie with LY & R followed by a (MUST HAVE) manicure ! Hopefully i'll feel better after doing things that i love .

Eff it .

2011-01-08T16:18:00.002+08:00

Feeling so fucked up right now .
Thought i saw a hint of hesitation; but i thought wrong .

Feel so .. whats the word ? .. USED .

Relateable

2011-01-07T06:30:00.003+08:00

Cant sleep . Stayed up and read comics again . Read 'Parfait Tic' .

Somehow this comicbook always gets my emotions stirring . Cried again even though i re-read it countless of times . I guess its cause i could relate myself to the protagonist's feelings . Love seems to be so painful . Yet it's what makes one humane .

2011's First Week

2011-01-07T03:43:00.005+08:00

Pardon me for being so self-loved . Heh .

The first week of school's almost over and im NOT loving it . Main reason being i kept procastinating and my work keeps pilling . Results have also added on to my worries . Although at many a time i've told everyone that my results dont matter, yet when i get them back, somehow seeing how badly i've performed does gets to me . I guess it could be said that i've failed to get the grade i desire . Most importantly, i've failed expectations . Seriously, screw expectations . They're just a pain in the ass . Why is it that everyone pursue qualifications ? Somehow, its because of this fierce paper chase that makes all so competitive about education and certificates . I dislike competitions . In fact i despise it . Yes, on the good side it may motivate one to strive harder to achieve better results than others . Yet, competitions often produce all these selfish and slying people that would reduce to anything in order to achieve their goals . All these selfish lying hypocrites simply disgust me . Ok i admit its all about this biatch .

Relationship wise, havent exactly been a walk in the breeze . And after so long, im ready to say it . I AM SINGLE . Have been so for nearly 4 months . Laughs . It's been tough on me since im not the kind of girl who's able to let go easily . Blame it on me being too dependent on others all the time . Yet right now, it aint all so simple either . Im still seeing J though . My family doesnt know that we've broken up . (Well all except my mom .) And neither does his family . In fact, all of them still thinks we're strong . Laughs . CNY's around the corner and surely i've to bring J to my aunt house for dinner . Im still unaware of my feelings for him . Aint sure if i still like him, or im just too used to him being by my side . But one thing im sure of, im getting over him ..

I think im able to get over him's cause im falling for in love again . Seriously, after J, i thought i'll go anti-love . But even though im glad i found someone new to obsess over, lovin' him is not an option . Cause circumstances have dictate that we cant like each other . So i'll save the butterflies for next time . For now, i just wanna love myself .

P.S. Havent been reading of late . I miss reading . Will stop by the library soon .

2011 ! ♥

2011-01-06T02:38:00.002+08:00

It's year 2011 dudes ! And what an unexpected NewYear's eve & NewYear ! Although its abit late for a new year post but im too lazy and kept procastinating ! Laughs . Anyway my new year resolutions this year are to be more optimistic, become stronger & more independent, and lastly i hope to pay off all my debts ! But most importantly "i wanna be the girl who didnt give a heck about guys, when her friends & freedom was everything she needs . Let me that girl again in 2011 !"

On new year's eve, went to fetch B first in the afternoon, then hanged out with his friends and him for awhile before heading to resort world for dinner with my family . Dinner had me stuffed up till my neck ! Headed to vivo to meet my hunies (Bren, Nuu, Jose) and Shawn afterwards and "count-eddown" there . Funny part was we didnt realised it was going to be 0000 till everyone stood up and shouted "5, 4, 3, 2, 1 !" and we were all so clueless ! Everyone was so busy hugging each other and wishing "Happy New Year" and we were just standing there . Laughs . But still it was lovely seeing them after so darn long . Simply love them lots . Headed to boat quey to find B and made a pit stop to clarkquey to visit Shihao . Regretted that decision . He made me freakin upset . Totally ruined my day and i just walked away . Anyways went to V3 for the first time and it was quite fun ! Finally headed back in the morning . Overall, this year's NewYear was great and hopefully the year will be too !

School's started and what a drag . Have been skipping classes again too . Ugh . Will try to work harder ! Results wasnt fantastic, expected better . But seeing my friends makes everything bearable .

Havent seen J for more than a week now . Wonder if he misses me . Laughs . Bet he doesnt though . Seeing him again this friday and am kinda excited cause i dont know how im gonna feel when i see him . My feelings for him have had taken a turn and he doesnt know it yet . Bet he doesnt care anyways . Laughs . Kinda touched though that he bought me the wooden bangles i wanted . On another note, i fear that im falling in love . I know that i cant fall in love cause i'll end up hurt again . So hopefully im able to restrict myself . Gonna start dancing again to keep myself occupied . What a long post this is . Laughs .

P.S. Finally got the courage to snip off my long hair ! Didnt regret it since almost everyone says it's nicer . Hehheh . I wish he belongs to me but i know she's definitely better so hope that they'll be happy yea . (:

P.P.S. I've had enough of boys for now .

X'mas !

2010-12-25T14:38:00.004+08:00

Katharine McPhee - It's Not Christmas Without You

Years almost over

Sure looks like December

The snow and ice on the ground

I hadn't sent a single Christmas card

The 31st is coming around

It makes me remember our last December

How the city looks so beautiful in white

As we walked the street that day you kept me warm

We couldn't wait to get inside

Now its Christmas and you're so far away

On this Christmas I just wished you had stayed

And i wonder if you're thinking of me today

I don't know what I'll do its not Christmas without you

I hear carols in the distance

Don't want to listen because every sound says your not here

Just in case you change your mind I'll leave a light over the door

And hope you suddenly appear

Cause its Christmas and you're so far away

On this Christmas I just wish you had stayed

And I wonder if you're thinking of me today

I don't know what I'll do its not Christmas without you

I'm too old to believe in Santa Claus

What are these gifts under the tree

But i did this once

Or maybe it's a dream, has he really brought you back to me

Its Christmas all i wanted is here

On this Christmas was for you to be near

And i wonder if you're thinking of me cause you're here

My one wish has come true, it's not Christmas without you

Happenings

2010-11-23T03:27:00.009+08:00

Keh I admit im supah zilian-ish and have too much time to spare . ;x Hehheh .

Havent been updating in a while . Have been wanting to update but im simply too lazy and there are just TOO much things to write ! MST's lika coming ! SOOO fast can ! Grrr .

Since my last post, many events had passed ; birthdays, outings, school, etc . There's just too much people's birthdays this month . SUPAH LOT CAN ! Im always dreading this month cause i'll always turn broke so fast this ! 4 of my sweeties had their birthdays this month as well .

Nureen ; Shuqi ; Roshini ; Ellisa

(Okeh the quality super lousy but i simple couldnt find a decent photo of either of them !

This is the best ler laa !)

Managed to celebrate Rosh and Qi 's birthday with them and i hope they had fun ! (: Couldnt celebrate for Nuu and Elle due to their Alevels but hope they had a nice birthday nonetheless and will make it up to them after their A's ! Have been friends with Qi & Elle since i was 13 and Nuu & Rosh since 15 . Love them to bits laa !

Anways, besides birthdays, 2 other school events i've join were the interaction race and also volunteering for the kindergarten graduation thingy . The interaction race was a-okay and we got third place plus a 20dollars capital land voucher each so not bad laa . Hehheh . But my stamina really cui ttm ! Have to start exercising ler ! The kindergarten thingy was really tiring ! Didnt know looking after a few kids could be SOO exhausting can ! But it was fun cause the kids are really supah dupah adorable laa ! I could hug them forever can ! *Squeals* Ohh, thru the volunter also managed to know Gabriel who looks like Cheehao alot can ! But Cheehao more shuai of course . Hehheh .

Also went rebel and zirca on Yuwen's birthday for the first time . I like(Y) ! I like rebel and zirca more than powerhouse laa ! Lol . Dance-d lika super lot that night and had fun ! I think i dance-d abit too wild ler, now that i think about it . *Laughs*

Know alot of new people and made alot of new friends this month ! I love making new friends and enlarging my social circle . Haha . Am especially glad to make this one particular friend can ! I think i have a crush ! *Shy* But too bad you're attached ! ): It's okeh cause im happy just being able to talk to you at times . It's kinda exciting even if it's a one-sided thing . Just hoping you will notice me at least . (:

Strength

2010-10-25T01:52:00.002+08:00

I will get over this .
I will be strong .
I dont wanna be taken for granted anymore .
It's not worth it and i know it .
I hope i will have the strength to walk through this alone .
I wanna break free from this so badly .

Random-ish

2010-10-22T04:11:00.003+08:00

My body clock is seriously screwed !
Everyday reach home lika take short naps ,
then cannot fall asleep at night !
Imma having such an abnormal lifestyle .
Eyerings are getting worser also .
FML .
Next time go out people will scream ,
"Omg ! There's a panda on the loose !"
Kay imma so lame .

I wonder if i should go back to punk .
Vey long since i dressed punk-ly ler .
Kinda miss those hardcore days .
So freedom man .

School's a drag .
Seriously damn sian .
Cannot pay attention in lectures at all .
Keep lika sleep sleep and sleep only .

Kay dontknow tmrw should wear heels to school not .
Scared lika will damn hiao ley . ):
Still thinking to whether should go audition .
Got people make up for me lika damn naise ley .
Hehheh .
I lika being pwetty .

From Hols - School

2010-10-21T03:01:00.008+08:00

Schools lika started kay ! School sucks ttm . Kay before schools started , there was lika alot of events . Shall sumarize ---

First of all would of course be the "class chalet" but not my class of course ; Wanyi's or should i say 5A class chalet . Imma lika the only one who dont come from 5A . Starting i feel so lika an outsider ! But after awhile it was okeh . Chalet was fun . Especially the part when the guys got drunk and began doing stupid things . Laughs . Overall was not bad . I even went swimming in my hot bikini ! *Shy*

Then would be the outing with LY and Rebbie . Caught Charlie St. Cloud and Buried one after the other . Buttock cramp man ! Charlie St. Cloud was naise ! And i cried laa ! Laughs . Buried was a-okeh ley . I find it not bad but LY and Rebbie says it wasnt naise . After that we went to yellojello to visit K and S . Rebbie was so kewt , being so shy and all . Laughs again . Since non of us were good drinkers , we only drank lychee margarita, sex on the beach, shirley temple and an unexpected shooter blowjob . K made all the drinks and it was really naise (Y) . But was so guilty cause didnt expect that he would treat us . *Thank kew K !* Waited for K to finish work before heading down to Hans for late late late supper / breakfast and a lil drama between LY and the cab driver happened in between . Home-d after that and it was really an awesome outing . ;DD

The following days were catching movies and supposedly outings with Kaijie&clique as well as with Tracy&Mel . But didnt managed to eat the crystal jade buffet with Kj&clique, only went bowling afterwards with them but still it was really fun ! Hadnt bowled for a reeeeally long time . But outing with Tracy&Mel was cancelled . Hope next time would have a chance again . Then the last day before school starts, went shopping with my babe SQ . Spent ALOT of moneh even though lika didnt buy much laa . But still was naise ~

PS .

Havin' mixed up feelings right naw . Cringed at the word "ex" today when you said it . Have absolutely no idea what you take me for . I guess you could say im your biatch but not your lover . Imma fool .

Coolios & Fate

2010-10-01T05:33:00.011+08:00

I hope you dont fall for me .

28th Sept 2010 : My girl LimYing's Birthday !

Even though there wasnt a big "celebratoral" but i hoped LY had fun cause i had fun ! Town-ed and manicure-d ! (: A first M18 movie for our big girl was 'Orphan' which we watched in chamber . Camwhore-d with the girls - LY and Rebecca - after the movie . Took a hell load of pictures ! Wanna apologise to LY for not getting her a gift cause i was at a financial crisis myself . Lol . But at least we got her a cake ! Cheese camp ! Had no clue why the cake's called cheese camp but what the heck , at least it was naise ! ;DD Picture after picture were taken then it was time for LY and R to head home . R had to take a cab since there's no bus already . Two guys said "Bye Bye" to her as she head into the cab and i think she finds the tall-io kinda handsome . Hahaha ! Took peektures with LY as we waited for her bus and we realised the 2 guys were looking at us camwhore-d only today ! LOL ! The 3 of them later took the same bus and also LY even got a free cab ride home . Haha ! What an epic moment of the night .

I went to find YW afterwards at cuppage . There were BY JG and Jer too . Then all of us went for k-session till dawn again . Haha ! Had fun nonetheless but i was really tired . Lol .

29th Sept 2010 :

Planned to stay home but after a call from YW complaining he was bored out of his wits , i was out of the house at midnight . Thumbs up for me man . Haha . Initial plan was to chill at boat quay but in the end we headed for clark quey along with S and J . Due to "someone" wearing slippers , we decided to go to yello jello since there doesnt have an attire requirement . And i think somehow fate wanted me to go there . LOL ! The 'tallio' and the friend was lika working there laa ! The 'tallio'/LinLe came to check my IC but i didnt recog him ! Then his friend/Kevin texted me saying i never said hi or etc to him . And i was stunned ! Haha . Headed to the bar then to chat awhile with him . Texted LY immediately afterwards to tell her of this fated encounter . Lol . Then YW send me home and we chilled at cck for a lil while . Once again i had fun . (:

P.S.

It's amazing how fast everything changes . A while ago we were so busy falling in love . And a while later you're so busy falling out of love . And im so busy trying hard to do the same .

2 Nights Out !

2010-09-24T01:39:00.003+08:00

Im really tired TTM ! Omgawd . Havent slept for 2 days ! Its a first for me i think ! But it was really really REALLY fun hanging out with sophia joseph bengyong and yuwen ! LOL . I cant believe i laughed for a total of about 15 mins nonstop ! Laughing really is the best medicine . (:

Looking forward to singing k till the morn with them again ! Love hanging out with them ! Even though it makes me broke . Haha . Triple thanks to yuwen for taking care of me much ! Haha . I feel like such a baby . Ahhh ! Lol .

P.S. Butterflies are a no no !

He's Great .

2010-09-18T03:46:00.003+08:00

Definitely have been avoiding things as of late . Or rather , since the start of this week .

A first for me : Getting drunk on sunday mn/monday am . LOL . Just a few hours before my chem eng paper i was drunk . Im in awe towards myself . Haha . Luckily the paper was do-able . *Heaves a sigh of relieve*

Have been spending everyday or rather almost every night ton-ing with yuwen . Have to apologise to him though . Caused him to sleep for 1-2 hours per day only before rushing to work . But still im grateful he's here for me . Also he's been treating me ALOT . Always the gentleman . Haha . Im thankful that he still sees me as a good friend . Even though i did 'betrayed' him before . Haha . I wonder if he kept my ring ? I still keeps his tortoise yea ? LOL . "You're like a pedophile for hanging with a xiao mei mei with me you know ! But im glad you're here !" (:

With Thanks

2010-09-16T00:52:00.004+08:00

I've always loved how you smelled .

And im still loving it .

Im glad you're here for me now . (:

You're a great friend to me . Thanks for letting me lean on you .

I really need a shoulder right now .

I simply miss the nights in town .

I need you .

My Girls With Kisses On Top

2010-09-12T04:34:00.008+08:00

10th September 2010 :

Went out with my girls ; Sq, Yy and Rn . Rosh couldn't make it at the last minute (So sad!) . We went to marina square again as usual . Laughs . Its funny how we always end up at marina every time we meet up and its like once in a blue moon ! We ate pizza hut with many laughs in between and i truly missed my girls . It's always only with them that i could get to laugh so heartily . It warms me truly . (: But i received a call from TCC telling me i couldn't get the f1 job and i was SO upset ! That's like the only thing im looking forward to in my now "emotional period" ! Ugh . Totally ruin my mood man . But im with my girls ! They eventually cheered me up .

We caught resident evil 4: afterlife at suntec since the tickets were sold out at marina . And the maddening thing was there's a darn sequel AGAIN . Ahhhh ! I freaking wanna know the ending ! And their sequels are always so long ! D: It's a short movie but i really liked it . Rate a 7.5/10 for the movie .

After the movie we went to toys'r'us and explore . We found the barbies nowadays simply UGLY . I think my barbie was SO much prettier than the ones now laa ! LOL . All of the barbies now look like fillipino maids ! Omgawd . Hahahaha ! All of us kinda played like kids with the toys and it was really fun . At a point , i saw the plushies at a corner and caught my attention on the plush roses . It made me think back of the last time i was at toys'r'us suntec . I was with WH then . And i remembered coming to suntec with him after school in our uniforms . I remembered him asking me to wait at a bench while he went to "take some stuff from XY" . I really believed that he went to look for XY then and t.b.h , i was kinda upset he didnt asked me to follow him . Laughs . Finally he came back with his hands behind his back and appeared so shy . Then he surprised me with the plush rose from toys'r'us and made my day . Even though it was just a plushie , it was really sweet ! Back then , that was one of the lil things that made me love him even more . Now , we've both moved on and to hear him having a new gf after SO long , im truly happy for him . It's a relief to be able to smile at these memories now .

Nyway , then the girls and i headed to burger king at esplanade xchange . We were really poor by the end of the day and everyone digs up every penny she has and together we bought as much food as we could . I have no idea why but every time we're out , at the end of the day , we always have to find every penny we have and put together to buy something . It's kinda fun actually and we admit loving these kind of moments . Laughs . (: Home-d after that and to end the day , i simply love my girls . Im glad they're here for me now .

P.S : I never want to fall in love again .

♥

2010-08-31T20:04:00.004+08:00

"Baby dear can't you see. This girl you see aint the girl she is. She aint really that bad, just emotional at times. Please do understand her wont you, cause only you could save her. Help her find herself once again. Let her smile like she used to before. You've helped her before havent you? So just help her again wont you. I've seen that brightest smile of hers. I've seen it only when you're around. Treat her nice like before. Give her candies to make her sweet. Dont give sour lollipops or she'll frown. And frownin aint a good thing you know. So make her sweet all over again. Just like you used to. Sprinkle sugar all over her. Give her chocolates so it'll melt in her. Give her flowers so she'll smell sweet. Take her out where there's fresh air, and where there's fresh air, you'll be as fresh as can be once again. When all these things have been done, you'll see your sweet baby girl once again. So open that heart and forgive her. Cause i know you will."

Dated 8th August 2008 .

State Of Mind

2010-08-29T04:59:00.004+08:00

Tell me the reason for insecureness . Why is it that people feel that ?
I want to go back . I want to forget everything .
I want to just bump my head, and not remember a thing .
Its funny how nobody knows what love is . How no one can exactly define love .
In truth , till this moment , i've never ever regretted the decisions i've made .
Yet , also at this very moment , is the first time i've ever regretted making this choice .
Ever since the start of my 17th year in this world , nothing has been smooth .
NOTHING .
I never thought growing up meant having so much responsibilities .
If i knew , i never would have let myself grew .
If i knew back then , i would definitely stop this madness when i was still a child .
If only .. But , its too late .
I cant go back . Yea i know . I can only hope all this madness go away soon .

On my birthday back in feb this year , although its long passed ,
i couldnt help thinking of the wish i made every single day .
I wish upon the brightest star that ever shines ..
"Please please let me be in a fairytale ."

Just Another Day

2010-06-17T22:40:00.005+08:00

I've been rotting at home for 2 whole days ! OH-EM-GEE . Im gonna go crazy soon and develop into a 'couch potato' ! This certainly cannot happen ! Luckily im going out again tmrw and the day after and the day after after and so on . Phew ~! Nyway i've caught the killers with Kaijie and friends last saturday & also caught A-team with my most useful neighbour Junchi on tuesday . HAHAHA . Its been almost two years since we hang out . The last was on christmas in 2007 i believe . So freaking long ago ! Tuesday we finally managed to hang out and it was quite ok . Abit awkward at first but soon we were suan-ing each other again . Haha . The A-team was NICEE . Freaking funny . 4 stars man !

Cheehao's face is SOOOO jiao bin . Hahahaha ! Sorry babe . It was taken last saturday when we went out with Kj and friends . Yes , the day i caught the killers . WOOO . Only one reason i would catch the killers : ASTON KUTCHER !!! Hahaha ! He's SO hot ! Omg . His body makes me drool . Haha ! Im just kidding . I dont drool . ;DD Woo ! Below is another photo taken that day . I believe it was kaijie's and my favourite photo of the week ! Haha . *Shifty eyes*

Departure day . *SOBS* My hair looks so ugly . Ugh .
Im only crying cause of my hair . ):

J come back soon please ! Weixi says im so lost without you . And i believe its true .

Everything's Wrong !

2010-06-15T03:00:00.004+08:00

OMG OMG ! J CALLED ME ON HIS MOM'S CELL JUST NOW . I MISS HIM SO MUCH . I DIDNT EVEN KNOW IT WAS HIM WHEN HE CALLED CAUSE I DIDNT EXPECTED IT ! LOL . Although the convo only lasted for a minute due to it being an overseas call and was freaking expensive . Hais . But it was really nice to hear his voice . Miss him so much ! Hope he have fun there . Come back soon !

Latest news : I got back my account from the fucker . Seriously the hacker have nothing better to do . Firstly last night , he hacked into my friend's account , pretended to be her and ask me "vote" for her picture . I cant believe i got scamed . Fucker . Then proceeded to tell me to on my webcam to pose sexily for him if i want my account back . And i told him "I fucking dont have a webcam" . And he ignores me . Then he got mad cause i called him a perv and he called me a daughter of a bitch when he's the bitchy one here and threatened to post my nude photos over google in a week . But i dont have any nude photos loser . I was scared only because i have alot of important stuff in my email account and i dont wanna lose my photos in facebook . Idiotic fellow . Called the police and went down to the station to make my statement . But somehow i dont think they are of any help . Then today , the loser pm my friend using my account and tell him the password and ask my friend to tell me . So now he wants to give us out accounts back ?! Omg . What loser-ish actions . Doesnt he have something better to do ?! What a joke .

Missin' You

2010-06-14T01:36:00.004+08:00

It's only 3 hours and 42 minutes since i last saw J and im missing him so much already ! Omg . How am i gonna survive two weeks without him ! If kj and friends werent at the airport with me , i think i would cry . Lucky for me its gonna be a pack holiday or i'll be missing J till death ! Come back soon baby !

2010-06-13T04:24:00.004+08:00

Blog Time ! Latest news : J's going to Europe for 2 damn weeks !

ARGHHH ! How can he go for holiday for the whole hols ! Yes yes i know its the hols but how can he leave me all alone in Sg while he enjoys himself with the caucassian babes ! Lucky lucky him . How lucky can one get . Ugh . Im stuck in tropical Singapore this hols . There would be no traveling for me unfortunately . ): Someone please sponsor me to Europe ~ I hate to say it but im gonna miss J so much ! But still i wish that he'll have fun there and of course not to forget the most lovable thing in the world - PRESENTS ! Haha ! Im gonna send him off later at the airport and i hope i dont cry ! Nah , i know i wont cry . I would only if there's no pressies for me when he gets back . Then he will really get it from me then . Heh .

Hols are here people ! Enjoy them as much as you can ! Cause its only a short two weeks ! After that it'll be back to the hell zone . Haha . MSTs over too ! And i dont wanna talk about it . I will talk about how bad it will be after the hols ! For now , i just wanna play and have fun as much as i can without missing J too much ! Bon voyage Babe !

2010-06-09T18:52:00.007+08:00

So many THINGS i wanna talk about ! But just dont know where to start .

Things have been really difficult for me . Everything, in fact, has been making me wanting to just

give up and go to sleep . On the bright side, mst's almost over . Just 3 more papers to go .

May they be as easy as it could be . 3 most difficult-est paper in the world .

Ok, im exaggerating .

A new 40" wide screen tv has arrived on monday for my living room ! Since i've

already accustomed to the small 19" tv for so long, the new tv just seems too LARGE for me .

But even though its so large, my mom still sits right in front of it . Whatever happened to

"I bought a wider screen so that i could sit further and need not strain my eyes ." ? LOL .

On to J , things have been kind of bland . Bland as in boring and boring and yeah ,

nothing exciting . We arent communicating as like before . Texts have been reduced

to 1 or 2 a day . Conversations have been reduced to

"Hey im calling just to tell you im turning in now . Nights ."

Yes i know he's really busy of late but i really feel insecure . And im feeling so empty

that it makes me tempted to hunt . I've been putting the box inside me for way too long .

Its been empty for way too long . Its time i started filling it with love again .

Pressure

2010-05-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

Lately , many many things have been going through my mind . In GEMs class , Oringa told us to think about what are the different stresses that we are dealing in our life right now . And i thought the stress i had were just financially and maybe abit of family stress thats all . But alot of things has indeed happened and im really really really at my wits end . I have no idea where to start solving anything at anywhere . I hate to admit it but im really STRESSED out . D: There's friends , family , work , school work , dance , financial and relationship . Everything is just so overwhelming . It's during me nuts . I dont even know what my aims are and it stresses me cause everyone around has high expectations of me . Yet , i dont even know what am i going to do after poly . I neither wished to work nor go to university . Im like stuck here at this point and cant move forward . And i cant even do a simply thing like helping J with his model . Instead of helping , im being more troulesome instead . Great , simply just great . Im on the verge of breaking down . And i cant talk to no one cause i tried before but they simply dont understand . "Yes im only 18 and still considered young . What do i have to stress about ?! You simply wont know .."

The Negativity

2010-05-11T03:15:00.005+08:00

Something's amiss . And im feeling frustrated cause i don't know what . Im feeling so darn aimless recently . It's like , i have no clue about my next step . Don't even have the mood to study right now . Can't get anything in my head anyway . I just want to cope up in a corner and read . With reading , it calms me down . Makes me feel occupied .

As usual , was late for school today . Missed the first lesson and was late for the second one . But , somehow i didnt want to attend class . I cant stand sitting there and listen for today . So i skipped the second class as well and headed to the library . Sat at a corner and continued my book . Then Larissa saw me and invited me to join them for their game of life . LOL . They just wont get sick of it . I guess life's always easier in boardgames . Then headed to class with them too after the break . Somehow , i feel as if im a loner right now . No Zo and no SC to look after me anymore . And that bytch makes me feel like slapping her cause she's acting like i dont even exist . Won't even reply when im talking to her . B-I-T-C-H . That's what she is . And no its not Zee . ;D

I want to be strong . I want to be independent . I feel that everyone's drifting away from me and im scared . Real scared . Im too dependent on others and this won't do . I've gotta teach myself to stand by myself . Cause no matter how good a friend , he/she won't support you forever .

Blinded Love

2010-05-10T04:04:00.004+08:00

They say love is blind , so what exactly does it mean ?

Aint if funny that before , when you like someone , you would think how wonderful he/she is . Yet after time passes and that fondness isnt there any longer you would start to ponder , exactly what do i see in him/her in the first place ?! It's strange isnt it . Before , his eyes were the most prettiest thing on earth . After , you wonder why his eyes are so weird that they're so separated from each other . LOL . Often many people would question themselves why had they fallen for that jerk/bitch . Many of us also love to 'promote' our bf/gfs when we're still together ; saying how he/she is so perfect or how he/she treats you so well . But after the break up , we will tend to diss our ex-es ; saying how he/she has so many bad habits or how he/she has such a terrible temper . How is it that one could say his/her ex is so bad and stuff when he/she himself/herself have so many flaws as well ? We often blame the other party about how badly they are as a bf/gf but yet , we dont reflect on how badly we are as a gf/bf . They say love is blind , and i truly understand why . Friends often ask "What exactly do you see in him ?" and i just want to say "Everything you don't ."

I love you J with carrots on top .

Going On In Life

2010-05-07T01:41:00.006+08:00

I Hate You CWX . For pretending to not see me . In future when you come and find me/us , im not gonna care nor allow that . You disappointed me . Tsk tsk .

School has been a pain . And im hating myself cause i cant seemed to remember anything that i've learned . And i've also learned that im not going to care anymore . I'll just let the two of them be as selfish as they can be and i'll just play along . I don't need them seriously . Regardless how they may stick together now , they arent good friends at all . Tsk . They're just always together cause of academics . At least i have good friends whom i can really count on .

Enough of all these negativity ! On a happy note , he and i are going SFSG . He initiated to look for me while i was with my friends ! Thats a first . Which made me really happy (: And we're meeting twice this week despite our hectic schedules ! Im really looking forward to hugging him . I simply adore these hugs of his . It makes my heart have this tingling warm feeling . LOL .

Confused

2010-05-01T22:26:00.006+08:00

Met J yesterday . Had a battle of feelings inside me when i saw him . For a moment , i forgot how to speak and what to call him . Watched iron man 2 and it was really nice . He held me in his arms again and it was bliss at that moment . And he said yes to my unreasonable request .. But somehow i cant seemed to know him anymore . Its just different . I dont know whether does he still held feelings for me or was it all an act . I dont like not being able to know whats on his mind . It sucks .

Im so confused right now . Its clear to me that im erased from his life or im just a friend to him now . Im cecilia in his contacts , under friends in his msn and now , im single on facebook . LOL . I really dont know what to feel . I wont shed any more tears but i wont be able to laugh wholeheartedly either -- at least not for now . I need a hug right now . I want a hug from my mom . Cause at least i know that she truly loves me ..

Qin says to follow my intuition . But the thing is , i dont know whats my intuition so how am i going to follow it ? I reply too much on him sometimes . Its his fault though . LOL . Who ask him to promise to stay by my side forever ! And thanks Qin for saying that im someone significant in your life . You're the best .

Story of My Life

2010-04-30T02:33:00.006+08:00

Story Of My Life - Jennifer Lopez

Your relation to me

Feeds my empty existence

I guess I choose what to see

Because I'm feeling resistance

So turn the lights on below

The time we have is too precious

You say that you'll never go

I know that lying is infectious, now

So don't let me down

I'm breaking my own rules today, ohh

I know that I should walk away, ohh

I'm falling again for someone who doesn't feel alright

That's the story of my life

I thought you were ready to be

The start of my happy ending

Sometimes I choose what to see

Forget what I've been defending

Before the day fades to day

There comes a break in the weather

I made you say goodbye

Because I can't say forever, now

So don't let me down, no

I'm breaking my own rules today, ohh

I know that I should walk away, ohh

I'm falling again for someone who doesn't feel alright

That's the story of my life

One in a million

But if you are ready to listen

I know that I can be stubborn

Maybe it's me but I've been too blind to see.

I'm breaking my own rules today, ohh

I know that I should walk away, ohh

I'm falling again for someone who doesn't feel alright

That's the story of my life

Keep walking, I keep walking (x3)

That's the story of my life

Smiling Again (:

2010-04-27T23:22:00.005+08:00

You make my heart skip a beat .

Tmrw's wednesday and im not sure whether do i have work or not . Stupid Ellen didnt call me to inform me anything ! She's so irresponsible ! Ugh . Tmrw's gonna be a short day in school ! Yay ! I can go home at twelve ! I love even weeks ! Cause i don't have to see Ong Chin Choon everyday ! Haha ! I have to see him like EVERYDAY for lectures/tutorials on odd weeks ! And he's not even my tutor ! And he speaks funny ! Ugh ! ;DD

Thank you . I smiled to myself as i talked to you . You were sweet to me .

Lies

2010-04-27T20:20:00.003+08:00

Its not mood swing and its not pms . I just opened my eyes . I knew the truth . The whole damn truth but i just didnt want to admit it . And now , im making myself suffer again . How stupid can i get ?!

Random

2010-04-27T01:22:00.003+08:00

That's funny . Are you reading my blog or reading my mind ? I thought i've privatized my blog . Lol ?

School's been a drag . Year 2 is so difficult ! Lectures are going so fast ! Ugh . I want to dance dance dance ! I want to improve so much ! Shall practice on my own as much as i can ! Yea im randoming . LOL .

Looking forward to friday's date ! Iron Man 2 here i come ! Im just such a movie-fanatic . Tsk tsk . Haha . Looking forward to seeing him as well of course . Just miss him so . And yes , i cant believed im so 'charmed' . -.-

Desporado

2010-04-26T00:37:00.004+08:00

I've talked to him and had sort of forced him to this agreement . But im still so confused , and am really shock to feel so empty . I hate this feeling of emptiness . Its like im hollow and dead but im still really am so much alive . Work has at least helped take my mind of these dreadful things . Watched the Bounty Hunter and its really awesome ! Really hilarious and of course the expected happy ending . Jennifer Aniston is simply hot even though she's approaching forty ! Omg . Love Aniston ! I want to buy this skirt which cost thirty-five forty after staff discount ! Initial price was fifty nine dollars ! Im so afraid i would not wear it after i buy though ! Ugh . I want it and not want it so badly !

When i hear his voice , i was just so overjoyed . I dont know why . I want to be in his arms so badly .

Mao Dun

2010-04-22T22:06:00.002+08:00

Its the fifth day . I keep telling myself that im over this . But its not , obviously . I want to ask him out so badly . Hais . Should i or should i not ask ?! Im so so so mao dun . D:

3rd Day

2010-04-20T23:46:00.002+08:00

Im going bonkers already seriously . Cant stand myself !! Almost burned the freaking kitchen just now cause i was too busy stalking him . Ugh . How much more pathetic could i get . But at least i didnt teared today . And the sun was shinning bright as well . LOL . It must've been a coincidence . I know its all too late and i could tell he doesnt miss me a bit . But i just want to deceive myself for just a while more . I should go flirt more cause i need some love man ! Haha . I want to watch date night !! Shall drag my darling to go watch with me . HAHA ! My darling also very ke lian now . Tsk tsk . Jiayou !

2nd Day .

2010-04-20T01:49:00.003+08:00

Its only the 2nd day and im feeling like its been 2 decades . 'Wonderful' . First day of school and it sooks ttm ! Ugh . Lectures after lectures after lectures . Neverending D: Cant believe i cried in school today . But not in front of anyone of course . And on the way back home , it rained . Yesterday after i cried , it poured too as i was going out . I cant help but think , were the skies crying for me ? Were they watching me ? They must've feel known how i felt and have felt my pain . I was touched . (:

Sfsg (:

2010-04-19T01:19:00.003+08:00

Watched Kick Ass with Shuqi today . Kick Ass was so kickin' nice ! FARNIE ~ ;D Also am so damn glad shuqi's back . Miss her so much ! Just so sad that she misses xiamen and not me ! LOL . Have been coping great . So far so good . Did cry but am still fine . Gonna pray hard that i won't break down . And yes , I miss his presence . How i wish i wasnt this strong . Cause being strong is just so difficult .

Amen

2010-04-18T17:56:00.005+08:00

Im trying so hard to make myself occupied right naw . It hurts so damn much that im havin difficulty breathin' . Cheers Cecilia . I know i can do it . Im strong . All the best to ya . It'll soon be over .. hopefully . Oh Father , may you be by my side and give me the strength to carry on . Amen .

Overwhelm

2010-04-11T13:39:00.006+08:00

Its been two weeks since i posted ! Haha . LOTS of stuff happened in these two short weeks ! First of all is FO Camp ! Muttons(GMs) ! Yea it was hell lot of fun ! But sadly i have to leave halfway cause i had severe stitch or gastric ? Wasn't too sure either . LOL . Then it was UNIVERSAL STUDIOS or RESORT WORLD ! Weeee ! Stayed at resort world's festive hotel for 3 days 2 nights . Was awesome ! Went to universal studios on the second day and it was fun . Especially the mummy-ride . Cool ! Another cooler thing was that i dont needa queue ! Cause my aunt bought express tickets ! Which means i can go the express way - cut queues ! Haha ! The waterworld show was superb as well ! The actors and actresses were really really good . They could act and fall as if its the most common thing in the world ! But universal studios was kinda small , kinda like hongkong's disneyland but even smaller . Oh well , singapore mah . Lol . Last of all and the most important of all : J and C are one year old !!! "Happy 1st Anniversary Babe !" ;DD Thanks for everything ! You're really cute kay !

Hols are coming to an end so i've been constantly going out like everyday ! Im gonna miss SiewChen too ! She's transferring to RP . D: Had a 1B/24 gathering and sort of farewell gathering for SC too . Hope all goes well for her in her new course and new school ! And yea my post has a lot of exclamation marks cause its been so cool and awesome lately ! Lol . I've watched like four movies this week ! Clash of the titians , Confusius , When in rome and Rec 2 . And now , im heading out for my fifth movie - Youth In Revolt . *Winks Eye* Michael Cera ! And next week , 'Date Night' , here i come ! Haha .

P.S. Yes i love the word AWESOME !

Awesomely Awesome

2010-03-30T02:26:00.007+08:00

Lazy to blog so i shall summarize .

First of all , results were unexpectedly great as compared to last sem . However , due to the damn cumulative the overall wasnt that great . D: Secondly , prep camp was SO tiring . I was so tired that i could even fell asleep by the field while sitting down . Ugh . But it was quite fun . Looking forward to the actual camp tmrw ! Thirdly , im feel so guilty to my girls : Nuu , Bren , Jose , Qi , Elle , Gina , YingY , Rosh , Blaha ! Im so sorry ! Didnt know you guys bought a ipod shuffle for me ! D: Had to made nuu and jose went back to change to another gift . They wanted to give me the shuffle initially but hid it that time when i approached with my new ipod nano . Omgawd . I cant imagine how sad you guys must be ! And i can assure the shuffle/mp3 aint inferrior than the nano ! Cause its something from all of your hears ! Nyway Nuu and Jose went back and exchanged for a mouse + 10-in-1 styler for me . It's still awesome . Love you girls TTM ! You girls are the best gifts for my birthday ! Ok so it wasnt exactly summarize . What the heck .

Last but not least , we are turning ONE soon ! J + C are turning ONE ! But i know we cant spend that day together . Cause i'll be at RWS ! Wee ! Thanks hun for letting me enjoy the day with my family ! Shall celebrate with ya on Sat ! You make me smile . (:

My boy and girls are so awesome . They rock my world . xDD

'Starstruck'

2010-03-18T04:08:00.008+08:00

I may not need you but i want you baby (:

Had bbq with Kj & clique yesterday . Was quite fun and stuff but i think im too tired of late to be able to ton . Was sitting on the nice soft sand at night with peijun dozing off beside . And it was so beautiful . It was the second time that i was able to witness the clear night sky with so many stars gazing upon . I counted the stars and there were more than 60 of em . Simply awesome . Only the stars were out last night . There wasnt any moon to fight with em , which was nice cause i dont like the moon . :D The first time i saw such a beautiful sky was with Hy and i still remembered it vividly . I just simply love to sit under the stars and think of all the awesome moments . I hope J would one day have the patience to just lay beside me and admire the awesome seaview and stars with me with no word spoken but just peaceful smiles . And i sorta make up a song too - bout the stars of course . Sang it to myself as i was riding the bike alone of course . Haha . Thought myself was quite lame though but what the heck . No one know nor heard . Outing with the hornies' girls tmrw/later . Hope we have fun !

IT Fair

2010-03-16T01:09:00.005+08:00

ITS BEEN SHO SHO LONG SINCE I POST ! Wahaha ! Was busy with exams , work and of course outings ! Holidays are here ! Worked at the IT Fair from thursday to sunday . First time working so wasnt quite used to the long hours of standing . I think for a day , i can stand for a minimum of thirteen hours plus standing in the train too ! Reached home straight away sleep and wake up straight go to work and stand non-stop again . Its like no rest at all ! Omgawd ~ But after two days i think im used to it already . Was selling Samsung Lappys . Whoever heard of Samsung Lappys ?! Cause its only been in the market for bout eight months ? So nobody heard of it and nobody wants to buy . So sad . ): Had quite a lot of fun working even though its tiring . The Samsung staff helping were all nice . At first thought John was quite "g.l." but actually he's ok and quite funny as well . Even helped me alot on the last day so he's alright . Haha . Plus he said i don't look eighteen , i look fifteen ! Weeee ! Young ! LOL . And he bet with Sof that if customer A comes back , pigs will lay eggs . And his pig "laid" eggs . Hahahaha ! Take that ! Farnie ! Ok so overall i sold 29 lappys in four days which makes me the third top seller so its quite ok beh ? Hope my pay comes soon !

But i couldnt spend time with baby for the past four days ! ): Its been like wake up , work , sleep over and over for the past four days ! Cant even have a proper phone convo with J ! *Cries* Miss him so ! But wanna thank J and friends for the ipod nano ! Shall not say further about the colour . LOL . Also wanna thank Zo , SC , JY and Larissa for the headphones ! Simple love the awesome gold it is ! ;DD And of course also to Edwin for the funky specs . Haha . I have awesome gifts so im feeling real happy ! (:

B'Day

2010-03-02T05:38:00.003+08:00

First of all , its my BIRTHDAY ! Well , not officially cause mine falls on the 29th but it's still counted yea ! Wanna thank everyone who wished me and since i have the time i shall list everyone out !

WeiXi ShuQi Brenduh YongQin Joker Jose Nureen Zo Zahirah Ruby DanHui LiQing [Smileys]

Edwin EngZhen GeraldKoh Jamine JianSiong JiaYing Kingsley Larissa LimYing Ramkee Rebecca SiewChen WeiYuan ZiYuan Zo'sTerrence [SP]

AdrianChua AnthonyKoh BeeHong ChunHoo EricNg Helena JiaYaoChng KaiJie KianHwee LayFang LiangMing WanYi YeeHong ZaiQiang [Kj&Clique]

Betrand HweePing JackSim JeremyHau JiaCong JiaYao Karthi Malissa Roshini WeeLiat YiHan [Bbss]

Aloysius Ong JiaMin JianWei JooBoon JunChi MingWei PeiFeng Richard WenXuanKor [Friends]

Thanks y'all ! And last but not least , special thanks to my huney J ! Thanks baby for the treat and the cake ! YiJiBang ! Love ya lots ! Also its our eleventh month ! Happy eleventh monthsary dear ! Hao Kai Xin !

BUT THIS YEAR HAVENT RECEIVED ANY PRESENTS ! Im hinting ! Lol . Just kidding . ;DD

P.S: Qin , i lazy to blog yet . Shall post your dedication another time ! Haha !

My Loves

2010-02-27T05:34:00.004+08:00

I seriously question myself many-a-time : 'Why do i even bother to call back ?' And yes i know the answer to it : 'Because i still treasure this r/s .' I know that one day , there will be a time where by it won't be like this anymore - no more feeling unappreciated , no more feeling insecure and definitely no more feeling unloved(if there is such a word) . And when that time comes , i hope i will be able to love myself again .

Had a wonderful time since ages on Monday with J . Even though it was just having a simple dinner date , i must say i havent felt so joyful since heaven knows when .

Outing with my girls today . It was simply wonderful and awesome ! Hadnt had a good laugh for a very long time . Im not the type of person who laughs easily so it is quite rare for me to be able to laugh so heartily . It was really great today . Enjoyed it so much . Simply love my girls . Hope we can stay friends always . Hope they would always stay this pure and innocent . Xoxo .

Love in CNY

2010-02-16T01:24:00.005+08:00

It's new year plus valentine's ! May the love be in everyone's angbaos !

Chinese new year has been alright . Traditional as always . Nothing new . Just visting and eating all the way . But its sad that i still have upcoming exams ! Grrr . Why cant some tiger just eat the exam papers !

Nyway wore the lovely dress + heels that J bought for me on the first day of CNY . Lovely ! Didn't get to eat my kimpo's fabulous and most awesome once-a-year curry chicken that i always look-forward-to though . Cause didn't visit her house this year . That's the sad part . But the happy part is that at least i still have my angbaos . Haha ! Have to study now ! Good luck to me ! UGH ! Red is said to be my lucky colour this year so i'll publish this in RED !

Waste of Time

2010-02-12T14:26:00.003+08:00

Weee ! Super duper tired + drowsy right now . Didn't sleep the whole night . Couldn't sleep . Couldn't think . So went out at around 5am to the playground near my house and pondered over alot of things . Went back home at only 7am to get ready for school . Flip through the notes for the test in the train . Didn't have the mood for studying . But i guess im lucky enough . Passed the test still . But it was quite easy . And i managed to finish 20mcqs in less than 5minutes ! Wow . New record . I think im smart actually . Haha . Home-ed after the test . Supposed to have lessons all the way till one but had to get home early to prepare something . Was uber sleepy when i reached home but hafta drag myself . Had a 'hilarious moment' with mom while doing my stuff cause i need her help and she got mad but she really was so funny . LOL . Thought he will come on time but its late now . Don't really have the mood already . Actually i didn't plan to call him but what the heck . The thing is 'rotting' and i guess i shouldn't have prepared it in the first place . It was just a waste of my effort and time .

2010-02-12T04:32:00.004+08:00

Can't sleep so im blogging now . Wanted to blog a few times already but just can't get myself to type . I just want to be treated better . I know im irritating . I know that . But i just can't help it . I just can't be left alone . Im afraid i would do something foolish . Not to you , but to myself . Because it happened before and i don't wanna repeat it . I don't want myself to get hurt again . I don't want to hurt myself again . I know im stupid . But i can't help being born stupid . Someone please help me . Help me get me back . I don't wanna be like this . I wanna be crazy and smile again . Not like this - insecure and crying .

Everything is replaying again . Just that , its worse this time . At least i have so many wonderful memories then . But now , i can't think of one happy moment . Maybe one , when the story first started . Im tired . Real tired . I really wish i can just give up . At least it wont hurt so much . Actually it was all over when you replied " Kinda ." to " No feelings ?" . I just didn't want to accept the fact . Im not strong you know . I hate myself for being so weak . I know you're just deceiving me when you say you still love me . Im just deceiving myself as well . I just can't stop loving you . Because i can't forgive you . I never could . I thought i could get revenge . But i couldn't . And now , im in a worse state .

X Month

2010-02-03T05:10:00.003+08:00

It doesn't exactly feel like the X month . Yea , it's just another month . So what ? Why should i care when you don't . Im a girl and i love being pampered . Be it in whatever ways . And yes , i love romance . And i also don't think that folding hearts and stars for the other party are in any way useless or redundant . In fact , i absolutely love accepting these kind of 'useless' gifts . At least there is the thought ! I love rocher as much as ever and i still miss my heart-shaped lollipop . Be it in the past , present or the future , i can never get too much of sweet thoughtful gifts . Even if it's just a chuppa chup , it's the thought that counts .

Cornetto

2010-01-31T22:10:00.003+08:00

Cornetto ice cream . Remember this ice cream ? There was once when Cornetto came up with Cornetto Royale and it comes in five different flavours . Royale Chocoluv , Royale Blackforest Blossom , Royale Cookies & Sweet Dreams , Royale Tiramissyou and , Royal Miss You Berry Much . I've tasted it all , tried it all with ya . I have to say sorry to you J . Cause when you offered me the ice cream , i didnt know it would lead me to think of the past . I was stunned . I thought i was gonna cry . All memories dawned upon me at once . I thought it was long forgotten already . Now i realised that there were so many so many so many fond memories . And little by little , everything came back to me in all sorts of ways . Why is it so ? I simply couldn't understand . Why now ? I hope it will be forgotten again soon . But i can promise one thing . I really love you J . It's true .

A Masquerade

2010-01-26T01:57:00.005+08:00

Ugly .

That's what the world is , that's what my little world is : Ugly .

Back when i was a kid , i used to think that the world is beautiful . Everything was so lovely . And at times , i even feel that i was beautiful , cause i was livin' in such a beautiful world . But everything was just a facade . Slowly , things began to unfold as i grew . The world no longer reflect a beautiful picture . As i grew , i find that everyone in this society wears a mask and everyone behaves so unnaturally . Everyone pretends to be someone they're not , be it pretending to be kind , friendly , "cool" or even fillial . It's like a make-believe world . It's not that all of us wants to pretend , it's because we have to in order to fit in to this society . Everyone is just so pseudo . Can't you tell that she's just saying that dress is pretty cause you think so ? Can't you tell that both of you are trying so hard to be "friends" and he's constantly trying to think of things to say so as to spare the awkwardness ? Everyone of us puts on a mask from the very moment we learn to think . Cause in thinking , we think of how we want to be . In our minds , we would say : "I want to be friendly ! I want to be outgoing ! I want to make alot of friends !" And so , we develop from there , putting on a mask to be the person we want to , but aint who we really are . It's like a masquerade .

2010-01-21T02:14:00.006+08:00

Something interesting happened today . Had GEMs as usual and i had to do this group thing for my CA10 . However, since i wasn't friends with anyone in the class and i badly wanted to do "juno" ( cause i had been thinkin' of it for weeks ) , it was kinda difficult . Was asked by this girl named Thivya to join her and her friends ( Inez & HweeLeng ) as a group . Of course i was more than happy to accept . Then , one of them asked whether if it's okay with me that we do "juno" ! Wow ! Is that awesome or what ! It's like telepathy . Lol .

Dinner-ed with Shuqi at bpp and had my curry chicken . Yum ! Satisfied my craving . Walked around for a bit and home-d . I miss J a lot more recently - no idea why though . Lastly im overjoyed for having changed my blogskin ! Bored of the previous one . Cheers !

2010-01-13T13:11:00.003+08:00

Im fooking( Credits to Zo ) sick again ! It's like my fifth time? since last year ! Good thing out of it is that i have 2days MC . Cheers ! Zhen Jie dragged me to the doctor yesterday . Haha . The doctor checked so long that it seems as if i have tons of problems ! Scary ! But the doctor was so good , gave me a discount . Heh heh . Usually i think it would be around 30 or 40 bucks but he only charged me 26dollars . Probably cause im so adorable ! Heh !

Once again thank you Zhen Jie for taking care of me ohh ! Owe you so much so much ! Haha . It's so awesome to have loving friends (:

2010-01-09T06:13:00.004+08:00

Can't fall sleep at all so im posting at this hour . Having a major 'migrain' ! First week of school wasn't too bad . Got back all my papers and all was quite well done except for one . 3As , 1B and 1D- . Gotta buck up on my AE&E .

I won't deny that im feeling insecure . Hope you're sleeping tight now .

2010-01-03T22:31:00.004+08:00

Woo ! Celebrated Jiaying's Birthday today at west coast park . And Siewchen was evil ! Haha . Today must be the most embarrasing day of my life ! Cant believe i actually carried EIGHTEEN balloons with SC while boarding the train ! Everyone was just staring ! Plus those balloons keep hitting people and there were constant apologies made . Tsk tsk . But it was kinda fun . Haha . I want eighteen balloons for my upcoming birthday as well ! *Im hinting all of you guys . Thank you .*

After street jazz today , went to lucky plaza with WX to shop for this cologne for her dad . Yay ! Felt so much better after knowing that i didn't over-react over a certain matter ( cause she said she would definitely react like me if it happens to her ) so , yay ! Agreed with her that WH was better in terms of " hong-ing (pacify-ing) " . I almost forgotten about the huge lollipop i received if she never reminded me . Think its diameter was around thirtyplus-cm . Also received a reindeer chocolate lolly during x'mas and a heart-shaped lolly for valentine's . Was really super sweet and touched . Plus the heart-shaped lolly was really nice even though i took days to finish it cause it's quite big as well . Lol . All those little things really did make me happy cause afterall im a girl . Im glad at least i had these little moments before .

2010-01-03T02:59:00.002+08:00

I really wish i was a kid again . At least hating boys was so much easier than loving them .

2010-01-02T22:17:00.003+08:00

2010 is here ! Not a good thing for me definitely ! Cause im already feeling old ! Gonna turn eighteen so so soon ! NOOOOOO .. Nyway celebrated new year's eve / new year with a barbeque at bukit purmei with kaijie and clique . Quite fun actually but at some point i was so tired as i woke up early for work on the eve . Initially was upset cause i was supposed to meet my girls but they didn't have the mood to go out and thus the outing cancelled ! But i had a sleepover at shuqi's house on new year so they're forgiven ! At least for shuqi's sake . Haha . Miss my girls so much ! Nyway made some resolutions for the new year and hopefully i could follow them !

One . Score good grades .
Two . Repay my debts !
Three . Save money !
Four . Be more understanding .
Five . Find someone who can pamper me ALOT .

Saw Hy the other day and dont know what was it that i felt . It just feels so strange seeing him . Wont deny that he's definitely more good-looking but he's still making tons of excuses as usual . Btw , i know you don't want me . But i just can't let go for now . Give me time , i promise i'll let it go , but slowly of course . I know it sucks for you now . But i really appreciate that you'll be patient . Im sorry but i can assure you that im trying to let go right now little by little , just like this instance .

2009-12-28T01:22:00.004+08:00

Grumpy + cranky in the morning is a definite weak point for me ! Got to change ! Sorry huney for flaring at you this morn even though you took great pains to wake me -this pig- up ! Sentosa-ed today with Kaijie and clique . Awesome ! But i couldn't get wet so can't play water-bombs and neither can i go into the sea which was disappointing but still - FUN . Tired after a whole day of fun so i was bad enough to skip dance lesson . ;D Think i got sun burned which really hurts ! But i wanna get tanned so have to blame myself for basking in the sun for so long . Haha . Gonna be a busy busy BUSY week starting tomorrow or later . Gonna miss J so much ! Simply adore your hugs ! But please build up your body , thanks ohh .

2009-12-26T04:22:00.002+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !!!

Woohoo ! Christmas is here ! On the eve , went out with Nuu , Jose and Brenduh and it was very nice ! Took a look of peektures as usual . But both bren and me were like crippled cause she had so much blisters due to her very "comfortable" pair of flats and the soles of my feet were so sore due to the very high stilettos i had to wear . Ugh ! Luckily i was clever enought to bring along slippers ! Nuu and babes said my make-up was nice and no longer ' ahlian-ish ' so i dont know whether should i be happy that its nice or be sad cause it used to be ' ahlian-ish '. Grr . Nyway met up Zo to take my gifts which i left at her house that day and she too said i look pretty . Yeah ! My day is made ! Went to walk around in town and it wasn't as crowded as i expected but still it's bursting with humans .

Headed to astons for dinner and the lady told her there wasnt chicken and baked potatoes left so we ordered others . Then dont know why it seems that the queue were stuck when it came to us . So we waited for quite a long time indeed ! At long last we were seated inside and the soup came but after a long time our food still didnt come . The people beside , behind and digonally beside us were all seated after us and they got their food and were finishing already ! Wanted to complain but the servers seemed to not respond to me ! Grrr ! And finally after like ten minutes we 'complained' and the food was served . Afterwards went outside of cathay to take many many pictures !

Then i went to find J and friends at tiong . Caught ' Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 ' with them and it was good . Mini-party at J's house after the movie and that ends the day . The last person excluding me went home near four . Overall it was a pleasant christmas eve ! Haha !

Hope you like the face towel ! Wait , no hoping . You'd better like the gift ! Or you're dead ! LOL . Hope you will think of me whenever you wash your face ohh ! Love you lots J ! You're the best gift i had for christmas ! ;D

2009-12-24T03:23:00.004+08:00

It was a vivid dream . Everything seemed so real . She was at his house again . But only , it was many years later . Neither of them changed much though . Then she saw him and they hugged . But there was another girl behind him . She felt a sense of anger from the girl . The girl went up and hooked his hand and it was obvious then . At that moment his parents came up and they got along tremendously well with the girl . A tinge of jealously rose up in her . " Why arent they as friendly with me back then ?" she thought . He pulled her to a corner and they stood there . She knew that he still love her . She could feel it . And it seems that she still love him too . Yet it's impossible between them already . The next thing she know , he was getting married with the girl . However , she was happy for them but she just couldn't stop the tears from flowing . It wasn't tears of joy for sure , it was tears from a broken heart . Then , she woke up with tears still flowing . It didn't felt like a dream at all .

2009-12-23T02:48:00.002+08:00

Christmas is coming ! Weee ! Definitely feeling the christmas spirit already ! Simply love Christmas ! Nyway i'm almost done with the christmas presents i've got to buy . Though it's kinda budget , it's the thoughts that count right ?! Haha . Hopefully everyone will like it . Praying hard ! Gonna spend christmas eve with the girls : Nuu , Bren and Jose . Nighttime with Kaijie and clique .

Oh yea , went clubbing for the first time on sunday with Weixi , Qishan , Shihui and their friends . It's an underage party but still i enjoyed it . Had abit of complications in the middle but it was solved . And i think i lost my voice because of all the shouting i did . Tsk tsk .

Another cip event yesterday at geylang polyclinic . Kinda boring and personally i thought it was kinda disappointing cause we were supposed to present a programme for the old folks but due to not enough practice and preparation , it wasn't that good . And i can tell that the elderly were all bored out ! Luckily it's over .

Head over to Zo's house today to prepare christmas treats and also to shop for gifts with her . Spend the whole afternoon and night doing the treats and our first batch was a failure cause it was so burnt ! But it was really nice ! Luckily the second batch onwards was a success cause we learned from our mistakes ! Haha . It's supposed to be name ' stained-glass cookie ' but cause we modified it so it's now called ' stained-cookie cookie ' ! The name so adorable right ! Nyway i baked it for J as xmas gift so he'd better say it taste good !

2009-12-18T01:35:00.002+08:00

Hi peeps ! Im back from hongkong ! Do y'all miss me ? I bet y'all do ! Haha ! Nah , i aint so thicked-skin . Went to hongkong and in between macau from last saturday 12th Dec and came back yesterday 16th Dec . Disneyland wasnt exactly fantastic but still it was nice . Absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE fairytales so i'll still say it's nice . Took photos with 'Buzz Lightyear , Pluto , Goofy and Alice in Wonderland' ! Saw 'Daisy , Mickey , Minnie , Winnie the pooh , Belle , Sleeping Beauty and Cinderella' too ! Went to macau on the third day . Stayed at the venetian hotel and it was beautiful ! Went to watch this 'bubble show' which was awesome but it lasted for fifteen minutes only . Anyone going to macau have to go and watch it ! BUT i didnt really get to shop during the trip . Went to 'Nu Ren Jie' for like one hour plus? to shop at the last night at around nine plus so couldnt really shop . SAD ! Bought gifts for my my sweeties but sad to say i didnt buy enough so those who didnt get them please forgive me ! Im short of cash and time ! So sorry ! Oh yea , and whoever says that holidays are supposed to be relaxing and for you to rest ? Thats nonsense ! Im so freaking exhausted after the trip and im short of sleep almost everyday ! And i have to walk the whole day for all five days during the trip ! It's pure exhaustion !

Oh yea . Im upset cause you FREAKING didnt text me nor read my text properly ! Was waiting so desperately ( oh yes i used the word desperately ! ) for your text since i clearly stated that i could receive messages even though i was overseas babe ! Ugh . So im not going to say i miss you so dearly ! Even thinking twice about giving you your donald ! Hmpf ! Im petty so live with it ! ;D

Nyway went to YMCA Adults Day Care Centre today for ONOW's cip . Initially, it was kinda boring since we didnt exactly plan what to do so we just decorate the place with x'mas deco-s and later on everyone gathered in a circle and everyone sang songs together . It was so nice and i really felt the christmas spirit between us . Headed over to J's house afterwards since it was so near and he's still as gay as ever . And now im back home and blogging after so many centuries . Well , it has been busy for weeks since i had MSTs before the hols so i've gotta put aside blogging and study . So imma good girl yea . Haha !

Im sure i've put on weight ! Cause my face's looks rounded ! Oh no ! No more photos ! I need a makeover ! Any sponsors ?

2009-11-23T03:12:00.002+08:00

Had a wonderful time today ! After street jazz , headed straight down to vivo beishanchuan spicy steamboat restaurant . Shuqi , jenny and ellisa were already there waiting for me . We promised ellisa to have a steamboat dinner today with her during her birthday on tuesday . And yea , we went to fulfill our promise . Lol . Had a tremendous time with the girls . Laughed till i almost rolled on the floor . And this was the first time i ate steamboat with such a large appetite . Well , im definitely not a big fan of steamboat and usually , i dont eat much during these type of buffets but today was an exception cause all of us , including me , ate till we were too full to move a muscle ! Phew ! But it was quite delicious and all . If brenda was there with us , it would be even greater ! But she had to leave early as usual . Definitely hope i could meet up with the girls soon ! And im praying hard that ellisa would reply faster in future ! Haha .

Had a row with you last night . Or should i say another row again . You certainly broke my heart when you expressed how annoyed you were when you knew i was in tears . Maybe you're not the guy for me . Maybe i was wrong when i thought this time , it would be right . I know what kind of guy i want . But why does all signs show me that you aren't my kind of guy ? I can tell you what i want -- a guy who will feel heartbroken when he sees me cry , a guy who will come and get me when he knows im hurt . You asked what i wanted . And now im willing to tell . But i doubt you will regard this . Cause you're not the type who cares . Prove me wrong please . Prove that i can lean on you . Prove me otherwise will you ?

2009-11-23T02:20:00.009+08:00

"I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me. Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. A pretty boy, but not so pretty that i feel awkward. A boy who thinks I'm b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l. A boy who will sing to me at random moments. Who lets me sleep on his chest.

I want a boy who will tell his mom I have beautiful eyes, who will bring me orange juice when I'm sick, who writes songs about me because he doesn't know any other way to tell me how he feels. I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times. I want a boy who will call me thrice a day if he went away. A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he'd still do it. A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say. A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times.

I want a boy who will write me notes in class, and give me flowers every once in a while for no real reason at all. Who will bet on kisses on who could beat who at games. Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh. A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring. Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time. A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume. I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me. A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me. Who will tell all his friends about me and smile when he does it. A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches. Who will make out with me in the pouring rain and will tell me when he doesn't think something looks good.

I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other. I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends. Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up. Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I'm on the phone. I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family. I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket. Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I've got him soaked.

I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh. A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can. I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I'm sick, and would play with my hair. A boy who would catch my tears and hug me tight when i cry. But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me."

2009-11-16T01:08:00.002+08:00

Street jazz class today ! Finally ! It's nice with all those toe pointing and stuff . Reminds me of ballet though . Still i prefer girls' hip hop . But it's only the first lesson so maybe after choreo , it'll be more fun ! Could learn to love it too . Smiles !

Haven't cried so much since don't know when already . Still im glad you came back for me even though you're pissed . You always know where to find me . I really love you ! But you're still sooooo gay ! Please ask your bro to train your body ! Haha . Hug me tight always thank you !

HI WEEEE ! Remember to invite me ! I will be honoured for sure ! Haha ! Hope you find a gf soon ! Cheers ! Got my blessings sure will find soon one !

2009-11-13T23:24:00.002+08:00

I know im hurt . This wound would leave scars behind .

2009-11-13T20:57:00.003+08:00

It's friday the 13th ! And yes , you're right -- im superstitious . I think i real down on luck today ! I didn't prepare any charms . Yup , there's no rabbit feet , no four-leaf clover and definitely no horseshoe . The day started off with me being late as usual . Was going to have a presentation today . My group was going to be the sixth to be up . There were only seven groups so we were the second last . BUT something went wrong with jiaying's lappy and it couldn't be detected . So the last group presented first while we figure out what was wrong . But due to time constrain , we couldn't present and have to do it so next monday in mister ho's office most probably . I just want to get it over and done with it ! Why is it so hard ?!

It was pouring so heavily and i was freezing when im having lunch ! I was wearing t-shirt and shorts of all days . No jacket either . Ugh . The mee sian i was having didn't even taste good . After school , it was pouring even heavier , like a tsunami . The best part was i forgotten my ezlink and money and there was only limited coins . Had to buy standard ticket for my trip home and i couldn't even walk home so i have to board a bus where i only board for one stop and still , i have to walk home . Almost tripped several times and curse the wet weather . Slept almost immediately after reaching home and woke up at seven . Wanted to go out since it's a friday and im supposed to be enjoying myself OUTDOORS . But no one was free, thus im stuck at home and blogging about the damn day now . Haven't eaten anything the whole day except the mee siam so im starving now ! Shall go cook maggi mee after this . So sad !

Oh yea , jooboon's birthday was yesterday . So i hearby wish him a HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY ! You aint nineteen anymore so don't act young ! Lol .

Suddenly thought of the word missus . Someone used to call me that . I think it's nice and i like it . I think long ago , people used that form . And how i wish i would return to long ago . Keep wishing cecilia !

" I don't wish to talk to you right now . " I would bear this in mind always . Im not as strong as you think , im fragile you know .

2009-11-11T03:38:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY PRECIOUS NUUUREEN !

Haha . Can't fall asleep again so im posting ! Hmm . Going to tekong afterwards . Weird huh . It's a field trip and till now i still have no clue to what we gonna go there for and what's the point . Nyway , heard there're tons of mosquitos there and im praying hard that i'd not get bitten ! Still , hope one-a-two-four would have fun together later !

Haven't been going out with J recently . Reasons being that both of us are broke and busy . Broke , busy , but still beautiful . Hmm , nice eh ? Haha . Random ! Hope we'll go 'partor' soon . Miss 'partor-ing' with him . Haha .

Im feeling empty lately . Definitely not a good sign . One word : Apprehensive ! Not sure of the meaning , go google it . (:

Or should i say "insecure" ?

2009-11-10T01:09:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time , there lived a beautiful princess in a beautiful castle . There also lived a very ordinary peasant in the nearby village . One day , the princess and peasant met and they fell in love . However , both of them just healed from a broken heart . So , their 'love' could just be a substitute . The princess used to be with this prince who was handsome , caring and so much fun to be with ! Yet , she didnt treasure him and treated him badly . Time and time again , the prince was hurt and in the end he decided to leave the princess and went in search for another . Then , only after when the prince left did the princess regretted not treating him better before . She misses him so much and tried to win him back . But all was in vain cause the prince had fallen for another princess . So the princess just have to get over her broken heart .

Before meeting the princess , the peasant was actually together with a girl who worked in the same farm as him . They were together for a very long time . But unfortunately , the girl soon grow tired of the peasant and left him . The peasant was heartbroken as he given all his heart to her and she had shattered it into pieces . But , even though the peasant wasnt very good looking , there were a few girls in the village that liked him . However , not one of them could capture his heart .

When the princess and the peasant fell in love , it was most unbelievable . Cause how could such a beautiful princess fall for such an ordinary peasant . Yet , they went out on dates still and became an item . However , the peasant was very insecure . Because , they are so many princes that the princess could choose that were so much better than him . He was so afraid that the princess would leave him one day . Furthermore , in the kingdom , there was another prince who looked so alike the prince that used to be with the princess . He was ever so sweet as well . This made the peasant even more worried . Because of his insecure-ness , he was always thinking too much and was always jealous at the slightest thing . It made him quarrel with the princess often . Hence the peasant was always upset . But , he would always hide his feelings as he do not want the princess to find him weak . Hence , because he was such a softie , he would always cry in his sleep .

In the end , the peasant could not handle the pain in his heart anymore . He wanted no more tears . And so , he cut out his eyes so that he could not no longer cry nor see anything upsetting . Also , he left the princess and the princess married another prince and all of them lived happily every after . The end .

2009-11-09T01:04:00.002+08:00

Never post for hao jiu hao jiu ler . School have started and im busy busy busy . Busy with what ? Busy with school work and the never ending birthdays this month ! It's been birthday after birthdays almost everyday ! I have like ELEVEN birthdays to celebrate this month ! Im already broke so im still trying to figure out how to celebrate everyone's bdays without spending money . Ugh . Praying hard for money to drop down from the sky now . Qi's birthday is today and we lunch-ed at plaza sing which followed by arcade . We meaning Shuqi , Brenda , Yingying , Karthi , Ruonan , Ellisa , Yours Truly and supposedly Roshini but she didnt come in the end . Kinda boring though . Afterwards went to iluma to catch coraline 3D in the evening and it was nice ! Really nice ! 3D is way better than normal . Nyway , celebrated nuu's birthday yesterday . Wanted to surprise her by accidentally bumping into her at far east but kinda fail . Ohh well . Bren had to go off around four which left jose , nuu and me ): We headed to orchard central and at there , we started a session of cam-whoring . Fun ! Haha . Shall upload the photos soon !

The rest of the birthdays celebrated would be zaiqiang's and kaijie's and peijun's . All of them were equally awesome cause everyone was present . Well almost nyway . Still it's always great to hang out with kj and clique . Hope everyone had a fun time yea ! Haha .

Babe bought a fox jumper for me our 7-monthsary . Thank you ! It's nice ! He bought one for himself as well so its like a couple wear . Don't really like that idea of couple outfits but still , guess im fine with it as long as you like it . It'll be really cute though . I shall reward you with one of my homemade cookies then . I will reward you soon ! Promise ! Lol .

Hmm . I want a camera ! Anyone kind enough to give me one this christmas ? Lol .

2009-10-25T20:15:00.002+08:00

Growing up . Everyone experiences this phenomenon . How i wished i didn't have to grow up so fast ! But sad too say , instead of being more mature , im becoming more childish . This is a fact ! There are witnesses as well to prove this . Ugh . Some say if i tell people now that i used to be an extreme tomboy who hates boys as much as cockroaches , they won't believe it . But i'd say they will believe . Because i believe almost every girl will experience going through this age . Haha . I miss my barbies and legos . Hmm . PSLE was a breeze . Olevels were tortuous . And final year GPAs would be hell . That's my assumptions nyway . Let me grow up slower !

Christmas is approaching ! Yea , it's still two months away but it'll be here before you know it ! I can't wait for christmas ! But first , i seriously need loads of shopping ! I want money to shop shop shop ! There's just way too much clothes i want ! Alright , let's change the want to a need . So clothes are a necessity ! Hmm , halloween's coming . Will be working on that day . There seems to be costumes required . Hope it'll be fun . Praying hard !

I wanna watch 'My Sister's Keeper' ! That's a hint for you J ! Haha . Actually it's not a hint , it's a warning . You'd better take me to go watch it ! Peace ! Missing you ! LOL .

2009-10-21T21:08:00.002+08:00

This year , at long last i managed to put on weight ! Gained bout 2-3 kg . But don't know what's wrong with my body this year . Keep on falling ill ! Oh mama . It's a terrible terrible TERRIBLE thing to be sick ! Had severe gastric which caused me to be so sick that it lead to a slight fever as well . Ugh . Visited the doctor for the fourth time this year . Im so hating clinics now . Lucky ah qin was 'kind' enough to accompany me to the clinic cause if i went myself , i sure will faint ~ Stand also cannot stand properly , sit also cannot sit properly . Can die man . J has been busy busy busy since school started cause it's school , nafa and work constantly . Guess he's really really exhausted already even though tmrw's only the forth day of school . BUT , it still doesn't excuse you from caring for me ! Me who's eff-ing sick ! Shall make you feel guilty ! A.hole !

One main concern , i think im starting to sound more and more bimbotic ! Nooo ! Nyway , i can't wait to attend street jazz class ! Woohoo ! Simply love dancing .

2009-10-17T01:56:00.006+08:00

Caught sorority row today ! Watched it with Shuqi , Yingying , Karthi and Cheehao baby . The storyline simply sucks . NO-LINK AT ALL . But overall it was an okay film . Cause the killings were fast and the deaths were instant and undraggy at all . Haha . Didnt met up with karthi for ages ! So it was nice hanging out with him again . He's still a kuku as usual . Lol . Small headed skinny fella ! Can't believed we gossiped like auntys throughout the whole journey home . But it was fun . I simply love gossiping . People cant live without gossip ! It's true ! I heard it somewhere from a radio or something . It says that people elects the emperor or president through the gossips they hear . I think its SO true ! People will always hear gossips of that person , then if it's good stuff they heard through these gossips , they would then vote for that man . RIGHT ?! Haha . People live their lives gossiping ! Don't deny it ! I bet even Obama and Lee Kuan Yee gossiped before !

Nyway , back to sorority row , it's a show full of hot babes ! Simply love Briana , Jamie , Margo and Caroline ! They're HOT ! Lol . They are naked scenes of the girls bathing but only for a while . Haha . Here's a poster of it ..

Holidays are over ! Dreading going back to school ! Oh yea . Forgot to mention that i went sentosa AGAIN yesterday with the guys ! Cheated my feelings . Thought there was at least Peijun for accompany but turns out im the only girl ! But it was fun and funny . (: So it's cool . 'Ve been watching movies alot recently . What can i say , i LOVE watching movies ! Haha . Next movie on my list : 500 days of summer ( but have to catch cloudy again with J first of course cause its a promise ) ! Oh yea , on a random note , J simply look great to me today ! Don't know why , he seems more good-looking than usual . Im feeling shy now saying this ! Haha ! Im feeling more lucky than usual . Love you lots !

2009-10-13T12:12:00.004+08:00

Just registered gems and unfortunately , wasn't able to choose the module i wanted cause i was too late in registering . Argh ! Nevermind , next sem then .

Recently headed to sentosa for 1) Chalet with rebecca and limying and reagen ; and 2) Outing with Kaijie and clique . The chalet was really kampong style . Cannot tahan . See already i wanna bang wall . All it has are two bunk beds and an air-conditioner . Wonderful eh ? But still it was nice hanging out with the girls plus a guy . Haha .

Sentosa outing with Kj and clique was fun as always . But it rained and there was no sun ! So it kinda dampened everyone's spirits when they arrived . But luckily the rain wasn't heavy and still everyone managed to play . The guys volleyball-ed and the girls headed to the sea as usual . Dog and bone was played with the use of the dreaded waterbombs ! Haha . It hurts getting hit by it but it was fun throwing it . Especially aiming it at J ! He hit me at my tummy and it hurt so much ! And it turned red too ! But he's forgiven . Lol . Dinner at the habourfront hawker centre . And i must say wow ! Everyone was so starved that the guys ordered at least two plates of food each . Went to safra next and i was so tired that i fell asleep at the couch . Peijun did the same too . Haha . Home-ed after that ! Overall was great except that i didn't get to sun-tanned ! I wanna become tan ! Im too white ! Look too unhealthy . Heh .

School's starting ! Harder to see J again . He'd better place me as his first priority ! Heh . Want to see you sooo much ! Yi ji bang !

2009-10-07T02:28:00.002+08:00

Im sorry .. I compared . I know i shouldn't but i did . Im the worst ..

2009-10-07T00:59:00.002+08:00

I don't like phobia 2 at all ! Hmpf ! Thought it would be scary but turns out alright only . Though J was scared throughout as usual . Haha . Beehoon and i bought crackers into the cinema to eat and i think the whole cinema was so noisy because of us . LOL . Well , it was delicious ! I simply can't resist the temptation to buy them to snack on ! Haha . Went to spize for supper after the movie and i have no idea why i find it so hilarious watching everyone eat . Maybe cause everyone seems to be eating the food so painfully . Lol . Farrrniiiee ! Beehoon , Wanyi , Chunhoo , Kaijie , Yeehong , Liangming , Anthony , Eric , Cheehao and me parted after supper . I so good . Listed everyone out . Aha . Self-praised ! I shall go watch jigoku shoujo (hell girl) now . Second time i've watched the anime already . But it's still NICE ! Chalet with the girls tomorrow ! Looking forward to it !

I was disappointed once again . Haha . Don't say stuff disheartedly please . And don't say stuff when you don't really meant them . It's a small matter but when all the small matters accumulate , it becomes a big matter yea ? Most importantly , i don't feel that i mattered that much . Why am i feeling this way ? Im starting to feel afraid .

2009-10-06T02:28:00.005+08:00

Went to the library at lot one today with shuqi ! Have to get out of the house or i'll go mad soon . Haha . Borrowed " the candy darlings " for the fourth time . Just simply love that story . Haha . As usual (and predicted) , qi wanted to watch a movie . So we went to catch " Cloudy with a chance of meatballs " . Adorable movie . Haha . I just cant help but think the noses of the main character and his dad are so large . Lol . But it's a nice movie ! It's based on a book . Praises for the author ! Haha . Throughout the movie , i feel so hungry ! ;D Here's a movie poster ..

Oh yea . Finally finished nana anime . Cried like heaven throughout . Touching story . Anime was so much nicer than the movie . But nana 1 was also nice . Nana 2 was a disappointment . Slept at 8 am yesterday and was disturbed by J's phonecall around two . Cant let me sleep in peace luh ! Lol . Feeling drowsy now . Shall go disturb J then head to bed . Heex .

2009-10-05T01:39:00.038+08:00

27th Sept - 29Sept : Chalet at Changi saf seaview chalet ! Weee ! Awesome-ness place ! Haha ! Well , heard that this place was not open for booking for the public but only for saf members . How cool is that ! Haha . Well , it so happens that shuqi's mom's company has been bidding for the chalet for two years now and finally they managed to book it . But they have to work on weekdays so shuqi's mom decided to let us use it or it will be wasted yea . And woohoo ! Lucky us ! Here are the photos ..

Barbeque food ! We climbed out the window ! Heh !

Aint the view beautiful !

Yingying's enjoying the breeze .

Camwhore !

Ohh yea . We watched fame after checking out . Fame was a remake of the 1980s fame and i daresay it's damn damn damn nice ! Wont mind watching it again ! But it was kinda messy overall so i'll rate it a 4/5 ! Heh .

2th Oct : Happy 6th month-sary J ! I had a lovely time spending the day with you . The best part was of course the neoprint . Haha . Nah . The whole time was the best ! Thank you ! Love ya lots ! Thanks for being so cute ! * Shy * Heex .

Continued ; 2th Oct : Went to celebrate mid autumn festival with kj and clique . Haha . They played catching till they stink but still it was fun ! Played with fire sparkles , candles and lanterns . Had a great time with them . Gonna have an outing with them soon to go catch phobia 2 and then finally , a sentosa outing . Cant wait ! I know it's gonna be fun !

2009-09-23T15:13:00.003+08:00

I wanna go to heaven already ! Im freakin sick again ! Down with major headache and the fever ! I think my brains are damaged already . Visited the doctor yesterday and when the doctor asked whether do i have other symtoms besides fever , instead of replying a headache , i blurted out ' My brains gonna burst already . ' Lol . Argh ! Having a craving for chilli crabs now ! Yes ! Right now !

Also, the stupid solex didn't even inform me that they wouldn't be needing me anymore . But im sick anyway . Nyway , just checked my results . What a disappointment . Ugh . Thought that i would at least get a B for IO chem . But except for Rwp and cppB , all got a C with some C+ as well . Ugh . So sad !

J you meanie ! You said to bring me out ! But you didn't ! I wanna watch movie ! Lol . I miss you ! Don't worry yea ? Haha ! Everything's fine ! Lalala ~

2009-09-21T01:21:00.007+08:00

Peek-tures taken on Brenduh's birthday ! :

2009-09-20T23:00:00.014+08:00

Weeee !! 'S been so long since i've blogged . Heh heh . Dance of course ended awesome-ly on 13th Sept ! Woohoo ! Although it was damn tired , still everything went great ! Definitely missing Celine and the girls right now ! Here are some photos taken :

Started working at solex on 14th Sept . Well , everything wasn't so bad . Just kinda boring at times . Haha . But i need the money so oh well . Went to the reggae dance trial class on Wed 16th Sept with ah xi and sinying . Woohoo ! Reggae was definitely something else ! SEXY AND FIERCE ! Would join reggae in future without doubt ! Lol .

Celebrated brenda's and chunhoo's birthday on friday . Busy day i had ! Went to work for half day , then rushed to jp to meet shuqi , jenny and brenda . Ellisa came along around 5plus . Woo ! Finally the five of us gathered ! Haha . Then , there was a 'surprise' by jose and nuren . So celebrated brenda's birthday again with jose , nuren and brenda . Haha . At around ten , went to meet kj and clique to celebrate chunhoo's birthday where we headed to clark quey . Played truth or dare in front of central . And it was fun . Haha . I missed J so so much ! Didn't see him for five freaking days ! Feels like five years to me ! Still it was great seeing him again . Haha . Shall post pictures for brenda's birthday later !